Motivation...come to me!

To try and get myself writing properly again I have signed up for Kickstart Your Creative Heart with For Books Sake. It runs through the whole of September and we have our own Facebook group. In the last couple of days there have been the introductions and the first prompts. They have certainly got the group communicating. The first day I ended up with a flash fiction piece. I struggled with it and wasn't satisfied. Too depressing - maybe a reflection of how I've been feeling about my writing for rather loo long. Then that night after I was woken by my son finding a large spider near the loo as he was about to sit down (that's another story) I went back to bed and an idea popped into my head. I should have got up and written it then, but no, I wrote it in my head - the whole thing! It kept me awake for a very long time.

In the morning I was at the laptop almost as soon as I got downstairs and typed it out, and yes, I'd remembered nearly all of it. It ran to around 2,400 words! Based on the same prompt this was fun to do and I really like it. I shared one paragraph with the group (today it was about sharing something we had written in the last two days) and it has been well received. I am now editing it and hope to get it into shape for a submission somewhere sometime.

I don't think I'll get a story every time, though it would be great if I could. Let's see what happens over the month. I'll let you know how it's going.

Another flashy success

Kind of goes with my flash fiction!

I have been busy at the keyboard tapping out short stories and really enjoying them. I suppose I should do something with them, though I do have a few floating around 'out there'.

After some more setbacks with poetry competitions I had a piece of great new today. The Canadian website 50-Word Stories has published the first piece of flash fiction I have sent them! I am a happy bunny. Do go across and read it.

Another one of those days

Had my usual problem this morning when trying to submit a competition entry - I went to pay and was told my card provider had not authorized the payment. Do they see me coming or what? My heart sunk. I'd already submitted the story and PayPal was the only option for payment.

Panicking (I should be used to this by now as I've had the lot from internet crashes to the 'non-payment' message mid submission) I called PayPal, after I'd checked my card was still valid and trawled around their site to see if it was something I'd done. No, it was my credit card company. So I had to phone them. Both these calls had stupid non-human messages like 'say in a few words what you are calling about'. My requests were not recognised! By this time I was growing angry and as there was no actual person on the line, quite abusive! On ringing my credit card company I gave up and just said something they would understand and hoped they could transfer me if necessary. Luckily, I seemed to be through to the right department. They insisted there was nothing wrong - huh? Well, why were they refusing payment? They looked again. They said PayPal had a 'no pounds' transaction. What? I was supposed to be paying £8. I had light-bulb moment and said I'd probably been timed out of the transaction because I'd been stuck in the system so long. I made them wait while I found the website which then directed me once more to PayPal and I signed in. This time when I pressed 'pay' it went through.

I said to the lady - I don't know what you did but thank you. She stayed annoying calm throughout the whole thing and when I said goodbye she said to keep smiling! I said I'd try. I was exhausted after that. I think I deserve to win the competition after all the hassle and if I don't, I'll want to know why!

Just sending out stories is nerve wracking enough. It's difficult to find a competition that accepts longer stories (I must learn to write to certain lengths!). This one of mine is just over 9,000 words and the limit is 10,000. I was so excited to find somewhere to submit to and the story was ready to go, apart from a title. I've mulled over a title for three days before I found one I was happy with. Titles for stories are as difficult as finding title for poems.

While all this was going on with PayPal and my credit card company, the guinea pigs were having a set-to in the cage behind me and I even shouted at them. I immediately felt guilty because one of them only had an operation yesterday and I'd had the job of medicating her earlier, which is always a bit of trial. She must be feeling better to argue with her cage-mate, which she often does.

I need calm. I need music. Which is why I'm plugged into a Trance mix on YouTube right now still trying to find my sanity! Thank God for music.

Dream scenes

Getting the dream down on paper with a bit of 'editing'!

I have spoken several times about my dreams and how they contribute towards my creative writing. I had another instance this morning which I wanted to tell you about because I found it interesting in the way the mind works when sleeping/dreaming.

I woke around 4am to hear the birds waking up. I love listening to them but my main thought was, do I really want to get up at this hour? I was tempted to go down and make a cup of tea. In the end, I decided to try and get back to sleep and after a while, thankfully, I did. I'm sure I woke briefly a few more times but when I woke up properly straight out of a dream it was nearly 8.30am! Immediately, I ran the scene through my head again. The whole thing was very vivid and in colour. As soon as I got up I wrote what I could remember down but already I was asking questions, making notes of things to check. Why? Well, as I said this was a vivid dream and I saw potential in it, despite the fact that like in all dreams, there were some totally weird things happening.

I won't bore you with all of it, but I would say the action took place in a shop - on the second floor. How did I know that? Because one of the baddies - who was me - (this is a potential crime story) took the lift down two floors in order to escape the Police in the dream. While in the lift - and this is the interesting bit - I could feel all sorts of emotions and saw all the colours and I was saying to myself, I must remember this, how this feels, so I can write it down! The writer in me was mentally making notes as the scene unfolded.

The really stupid part of the dream came near the end when the character (me) had escaped and was hurrying across a level crossing. Coming towards me was a tiny bright red car, the size of a toy and came right out of the animated film Cars! Even more stupid the character and the car recognised one another and acknowledged each other. Then as the character got to the other side he realised (see I've even changed sex!) that the car was connected to the Police and it dawned on the character that the car would put two and two together and work it out. The character rushed off passing a shop holding a book auction (I think this is where I was tempted to go in! but the character dragged me away!). The last fragments was me, as the character, hurrying from street to street looking for somewhere to hide or go.

This was all too good to waste. It may never get used. It may form a scene in a short story or a novel. Maybe it will end up in a poem. There is stuff I can work with, exchange the silly parts for something real (in fact in my writing down of this dream I have already made some changes).

I love it when something like this happens. Dreams, while often mixed up and crazy, can offer some great nuggets and insights into the subconscious.

Sleeping so late put me right out this morning and the day is slipping away at great speed. I feel like I'm still trying to catch up but I wouldn't have wanted to miss this exciting dream. Who knows where and in what form it might appear one day!

Character profiling again!

How I long for a room with a huge pin board right now. I've returned to my novel and immediately realised I'd forgotten the name of a character! Flicked through my few pages of notes on my characters to find it and wondered how I could forget such a name......it was my dad's name!

Decided some proper profiling was needed and boy have a got myself into a muddle but I'm getting there. One thing to come out of this is how certain things link together to make the story better (hopefully) and I'm finding that the characters are coming to life more and I'm beginning to understand where they are coming from. Found some good tension spots between two characters which will be useful. I've had to expand on my characters' family trees and I have been going through the first part of the story and editing a little. I need to get a feel for the story again and add more detail before I continue with it.This seems essential at this point, especially now I'm putting flesh on my characters. Of course further edits will be needed but this will be  a better draft.

Another thing that's come out of looking at the novel again is the similarities to my 'soap' style story. I realised that both are mainly set in villages (one not exclusively) and the names of the villages are similar! Not only that but two names appear in both stories. None of this was intentional and I am wondering whether I just don't have much imagination, whether it was subconscious or I like writing things based on similar ideas. Probably it's down to not profiling characters properly first! Well, Victoria Hislop writes similar things - all her books have two timelines (with back story dominating) and look how successful she is! Oh well, I think it's time for a break - my head is overloaded with dates, names and places. I'm off to wash up and then watch the footie - come on Costa Rica!

What I've been doing since my last post!

The heading for this post sounds like one of those school writing assignments on 'what I did on my holidays'. Well, we never went abroad - Isle of Wight virtually every year! Not that I'm knocking it but I couldn't face going there for many years afterwards. Still in family tradition we did take the kids there one year....only one year! And what I did on my school summer holidays included using my imagination to fill up the days. For example I drew up what today one might call a sort of fantasy football game which is why from time to time I look to see what Hartlepool are doing (sadly still in the same division I believe). I also had a brief spell drawing clothes, thinking I was a fashion designer. Now anyone who knows me will laugh their socks off at this because I can barely thread a needle and have to work up to sewing a button back on. In fact after having to sew buttons on my dressing gown several times I could face it no more. I waited until there was two buttons left hanging and then went out and bought a new one......without buttons!

As usual I am moving away from my subject. The last time I wrote I said I was taking a break. The break is really from courses, which I have done rather a lot of lately (and I've still not finished the final one). I was looking at some of my other stories, looking for something I could adapt for a flash fiction entry and then found a site running a Found Poem competition. I love writing found poems and set about composing one and then looked at my old serial idea. Actually, it is more a soap which I'd love to run online. I printed off the four episodes and hunted down the roughed out profiles and seriously began thinking about profiling with pictures. This came up in the online course Start Writing Fiction......about sourcing pictures for characters and I'd always wanted to do it. So I went out an bought a magazine and a Saturday paper with obligatory bundles on magazines they come with and set to looking for suitable pictures for my characters. I wanted ordinary people, not celebs, because though no one would probably recognise them from my descriptions, I would and it would put me off.

One problem with writing something on the scale of a soap is that you have a lot of characters but I did find almost enough for my needs. I cut them out, wrote their character names and then on my newly roughed out (printed) profile sheet I began adding bits of information. I also looked through what I had written of the story to see if there was anything else useful to add, which there was.

I was actually up at 4.30am this morning and worked on my profiles and editing for the four 'episodes' for four hours -  time flew! I have a hard back book where I will stick my pictures and write out a profile for each character. The course I took offered a website link (actually it might have been a link posted by one of the other students) which had a comprehensive sheet for profiling and I might use that, at least part of it. That was the good thing about the course - all the links and advice. The really useful stuff I copied and pasted into a word document so I can refer to it when I need.

One thing that has become evident from profiling with pictures is that descriptions (always something I struggle with) has become easier and I have begun to bond with my characters! Not only that but now I have matched couples, families and included some family history potential new stories are emerging. One of the reasons I gave up with this project was because I was running out of steam. Suddenly my head is filled with ideas and new characters. I've even thought about writing short snatches of ideas down ready to fit them in when I need them.

I realise that I have left my novel (at about 30,000 words) and although my next scene is there in my head I've not been back to it. I'm thinking that I should profile these characters properly. I have done lots of profiling already but not with pictures. This might help in the long run.

My main worry with the resurrected project is whether it will work in the form I am writing it. As I said it is like a soap so written more direct and the scenes are short, often punchy. There is humour (I do not want it to be a depressing EastEnders soap!) and a play on names/occupations which is left over from my very first idea of writing it as a comedy! I have changes some names but kept some. I wonder about this. All my doubts creep in as I still feel very raw around the edges in writing stories. I think I might run it past a friend of mine who writes mainly stories and has taken courses in script writing and writing for radio to get her take on it. The pieces I am writing are still in novel form as it isn't a play, it's something in between maybe. It would just be nice to get another pair of eyes on it. At the end of the day I write for myself and the idea of writing it for online view also poses problems. Will anyone read it? I'd have to work a long way ahead. How many episodes do I write? Can I maintain it? Is the writing any good? Will it actually work as it is? How frequently do I post? Am I mad? Ah!

All these things are going around in my head but I must admit the characters and their stories are overtaking those thoughts.

I'll let you know what decisions I come to but if you have any thoughts or advice do comment.  Meanwhile I am also writing and editing poetry. A good phase. Hope it lasts!

Start Writing Fiction...the end!

I worried. I pondered. I edited. I worried! Yes, the short piece of fiction was finally completed, submitted and I've received feedback on it. Originally I read my story to my son full of enthusiasm (me, not him!) but his comments were a little negative about certain parts. However, his comment about a gun I mention in the story was helpful because he was able to tell me that the shotgun would not react the way I'd mentioned. So I asked what would and I changed the description to a hand gun. (I never asked him how he knew this!) So, research what you don't know.....or think you do know!! Don't guess - check.

From his other comments I made some small edits but I worried about it. I went on to the Facebook page with my concerns - they are a lovely group. I submitted the story yesterday and this morning I had three reviews, all positive, a few comments about how perhaps I could expand certain areas but two people really enjoyed it and one mentioned my research!!

I can relax now. I have completed the course and come through it much better than I expected. I still don't think my story writing will ever take over from my poetry writing because I'm not moved to write stories with the same urgency but maybe that will come in time. How knows. I don't know where my writing fits either, certainly not the mainstream women's magazines. My stories can be a bit wacky and I've noticed that since I've been reading more crime/thrillers I've been writing more in that direction but the research needed for those is immense and I don't think I would have the patience. Anyway, it has certainly helped me look at my novel in a new light - lots of editing, should I ever finish it!

There is a link on the course to the OU OpenLearn site which runs a creative writing course and I may visit in time but I have promised myself a break. I have one other course to complete online (nothing to do with writing) and I have signed up for a one day study course next month on First World War Artists including a visit to the Imperial War Museum. That's it, for now. Summer is coming and the outdoors beckons. Perhaps if I get bored I might return to my novel!

In case you are inspired, FutureLearn intend to run the course again this year. It's free, interactive, supportive and a great way to get you writing. You never know where it might lead.

Getting close to a finished piece of fiction

Into week seven of the Start Writing Fiction course with FutureLearn. We are nearing the end of the whole course. Next week is the last one. Like others on this course I am working towards a 1,000 word fiction story to be posted and reviewed by other students.

Although I had done some short pieces of between 200 and 500 words for character building when it came to writing a story none of the characters I had written about or the pieces I started really worked in this context and I was stumped. I had a few false starts which I abandoned after a few sentences because they didn't interest me and I couldn't see where they were going. As I began again a voice took over and a character started emerging. I began the story as a serious plot but it soon became obvious that it didn't want to be serious and skipped into a bit of a farce! I've always gone with gut feelings so I went with it and let it follow whichever direction it seemed to be going. I was worried I wouldn't reach close to the word count, then that I'd go over but when I'd finished I was at around 940 words. I read it back and liked it. I did a small amount of editing and have let it lay for several days.

This week we are beginning our editing properly and I have looked at my story and amended a few things. We have also been looking at how we read and we were asked to write a review of a book we liked and one we didn't. The notes we were given for considering books was comprehensive and useful and no doubt I will be referring to them when I next write a book review!

This is the only course with FutureLearn where I have signed up to their Facebook page. Hopefully that will keep going after the course finishes as it is a nice way to keep in touch with others and offer mutual support.

For some on the course (there are well over 20,000 people on this) they have struggled or they felt it was too basic. With something like this you get from it what is relevant. Yes, some of the stages have been very basic but there are new learners here and for me it was nice to have things reinforced and to comment on questions asked by those with less experience and to comment on my own doubts and share ideas. There is quite a mixture of learners and I've been enjoying this course from the beginning. Nothing seems too scary!
For me it's been a chance to try my hand at fiction writing and to receive feedback without the hell of reading it out in a class!  Not only this but the course is free! I have gained confidence in my ability to write and even I can see that I'm not as bad as I thought I was at writing. Of course the proof will be in the 1,000 piece to be submitted next week. However, one thing I have learnt is that some people will enjoy it and some will hate it. Having seen the comments on a story we had to read, it was obvious that everyone has a different opinion because everyone has preferences which is why we choose  to read the books we do and not others.

Not longlisted but......

Well, I wasn't on the Pighog Pamphlet longlist this morning when it was announced. I'd been waiting since last week when I knew a decision had been made but I didn't hold out much hope. They'd had 600 entries and about 35 were longlisted. This was only the second pamphlet competition I'd ever entered but I did work very hard on this one and felt a bit happier with the way the process had gone. The way I look at it now is that ten good poems are ready to be released for submission elsewhere. In fact I have news of one poem in that set that I cannot reveal at the moment - sworn to secrecy. All will be revealed soon.

What I should be doing now is typing out this mornings piece of my story (novel??. Instead I'm flitting between Facebook and Twitter....oh the shame of it! Anyway, the excuses are running out and I am going to type it now...yes, really. I have my music at the ready.....a trance sequence, 20014 mix lasting nearly three hours and no adverts! Trance is what I listen to when typing up my pieces because it is fast and vibrant and keeps me going. I sometimes write to music but depending on what I am doing it can be a distraction  in which case I switch it off. I write in silence with the current story but I hate typing up so music keeps the boredom levels low.  So here we go.........

A little success and sharing the baby!

I heard last week that one of my poems is to appear in an Anthology entitled Spooky Tales, a publication from What the Dickens? It will come out as an eBook and printed copy. See here. That was a nice a piece of news and made my day. My friend Lynda Bullock will be appearing along side me. Well done Lynda!

Last time I spoke about the story I was writing. Well, it's still going strong and I even have a routine going. I write when I get up before anyone else is around. I manage around 1,000 to 1,500 words, though sometimes less. But as long as I write something I am happy. Later in the day I try to type up what I have written, although that's not always possible and then things lag a bit. Still, today I am finally up to date.

My hubby's friend who stayed with us one night last week let it slip that he had an idea for a story himself. I can't even remember how we got round to talking about writing....oh I know we were half watching Stargate! He told me his idea which I liked and he even drew a little map to explain how his idea would work. But he says he knows he will never write it because he gets bored easily. I think it's a shame because it has potential. There'd need to be a lot of research but that's part of the fun. He asked to read some of my story. Now I NEVER let anyone read my stories (few though they are) especially in rough draft form but I relented. I explained that this was a really rough draft and when I came to type it I began the process of editing but even then it's still a first draft. I already knew there were discrepancies, spelling was a bit hit and miss at times because I write as it flows. I don't correct because that stops the flow. We had a discussion over sentence structure! He wanted to write in school English and I said I write how people speak. We clashed on a few points but he was complementary about the way I expressed certain scenes. Basically we were coming from two different places but it was interesting to hear what he said. This is my baby so I am very protective of it and I told him how privileged he was to see it! He only read snatches so I had to explain some things because they were taken out of context. I said that next time I saw him I'd be asking him how his writing was going. He just said it wouldn't get done.

Anyway, I've now got just over 12,500 words under my belt. There was a lull when I wondered how to bring the next bit into play but then suddenly the opportunity presented itself like magic as I wrote. So now I'm gearing up for another good run.

I've also decided that I need a research trip! One of the places where the story is set is somewhere I have been through but never visited. There is a scene I need to back up with facts because this is a real place not fictional. Where is it you ask? Well, think Susan Hill...her crime novels. While her setting is fictional she gives an idea of places it is similar to. However, I'm not writing about either of them.  Now go off and research that one folks!

So I am aiming to take a day out next week to soak up the atmosphere. I'm really excited about it. I hope to return fully immersed and ready to write.

The muse is alive and well

I'm not sure why but I've been toying with the idea of writing a story again (even though I am supposed to be editing one I finished last year....I have started!). I think perhaps it is the need to have a longer period of writing and really letting it get under my skin that prompted me to consider this.

Some months ago I made attempt at setting out some characters and flimsy plot to a story then did a bit of research and set it aside. The urge left me.Though I considered this now one it wasn't the story I wanted to go back to. Then I remembered another story I began even longer ago.....like a few years. I got into it initially then ran out of steam. I dug it out and read what I'd written and found I still liked it. My pen was on the paper and I was away again. So the last few mornings I have written two or three pages (handwritten) and spent some time typing up some of the beginning. This morning I decided that I should be delving into the characters and working out how the story was going to continue because when I began the story I just jumped in with a vague idea and no real character backgrounds etc. Now was the time before I get too far in that I'm getting dates, places and people all mixed up! Piecing it all together I ended up with a family tree.

I'm actually loving this story. I'm not even thinking about publishing aspects because I want to really submerge myself into the characters. I'd almost forgotten the sheer pleasure and obsessiveness of writing a story (dare I even consider it lengthening into a novel!). The ideas are coming and I'd quite happily lock myself away in a room and write to all the words ran out. But, I have another life and right now there's so much going on, so with difficulty I have to try and switch off. It's not easy as I find myself wandering around with my head full of characters, what I'll write next, how to develop the story and just living it. Already I've fallen in love with one of the characters, not literally - it's a woman and she's got a voice and personality which writes itself.

Now I've mentioned this I expect the muse will leave me and the story will get shelved for another few years. I realise that once the novelty has worn off I'll have to push myself, but I'm hoping to see it through. I've even thought there might be a prequel in it - now there's a thought!

#wpad July challenge - Genre

GENRE

In poetry there are no subjects I wouldn't tackle.  I've written about pregnancy through to death, relationships, religion/faith, murder, violence, the dark side/gothic, dreams, justice and nature.

There must be 1000's of  books out there with
 the same dreadful cover!

The few stories I have written always seem to have a sci-fi/supernatural/futuristic slant - not actually in an alien world, more when they visit us.  And now I will admit something.  Some years ago the Daily Mail newspaper offered to publish readers books - two copies of the book  for something like £19.99. They would not read it, edit or change anything so it would be published as it was sent in.  You could add a photo and some blurb.  This is vanity publishing, nothing illegal and the Daily Mail were upfront about what was possible and I don't remember there being an offer to buy extra copies.  There might have been but I didn't do that.  I knew exactly what this was and I also knew that the story I was going to send in was no masterpiece.  Even so I decided to edit it but with a deadline before the offer ran out I wondered if I could do it.  I did and in fact I ended up with four copies for some reason but I didn't pay extra.  This book just served a purpose and I knew what I was doing.  I just wanted to see what it would look like to have a book in print.  Reading it now (it's from 2005...well the final edit!) I'm embarrassed.  If I'd had the time it might have been easier to re-write the whole thing.  The idea was good but some of the writing is bad!  I think I originally wrote it in the early/mid '80's.  Anyway, it was exciting in a self-indulgent way. I still hope to see a book of mine in print but this time I hope it will be poetry......and published through a proper publisher.

Self Evaluation

Self Evaluation

In my writing life it is hard to know where exactly I am.  With my poetry I would fall into the 'intermediate' category if I was attending a course.  I don't think I could consider myself an advanced writer until I'd won a big competition or had a book published, or at least poems published in one of the more literary magazines.

With story writing I am a beginner. I haven't attended any courses or workshops in story writing.  Oh, yes I did one term at adult education classes which covered general creative writing.  For a long time I lost the interest in writing stories. My stories didn't fit the usual women's magazines criteria and I didn't want to write romance in particular anyway.  So I stopped.  When I do write stories now I write what I want to write and for my own pleasure.  At present I don't see me submitting them anywhere, partly because I don't feel I have all the 'tools' in place to write something that will hold others interest.  And I am not ready for classes and workshops on story writing.  Poetry is what interests me the most and that's what I concentrate on.  Anything else is just a little bonus and break from poetry.

Flash fiction does interest me and I am beginning to write a few. I'll come back to this in an other post.

I am on a journey with my writing and I feel I have passed the first two crossroads (though I'm not sure how many crossroads there are but probably another three or four until I get to where I want to be).  It's strange because sometimes I'll go ages without anything happening and then all at once I get three acceptances.  It's a funny old life!

I am certainly moving forward but I know I also have to be more actively involved in the writing world.   I do have a plan which is a work in progress.

My writing has peaks and troughs.  There are times when I can't seem to get a thought on paper.  I'll go round it for days and it just won't work so I leave it.  Another time the whole piece seems to write itself, like I'm on fire and I am so proud of it and cannot believe I've actually written it.  Then I have days when I seem to write nothing but rubbish, cliches all over the place.  Not that I throw anything way because even in the rubbish there may be one line or phrase that I like and will use elsewhere.

Reading poetry by others can often get me back to writing.  An acceptance gets me back to writing. Certain things do happen that will help me get back on track when I'm down about rejection or am not able to string a sentence together.  Thank God for those times! If I look back over the last two/three years I know I have come a long way but I also know I have a long way to go!

Why I write - July #wpad challenge

WHY I WRITE

Heck....why I write.  All writers say they just have to write that they cannot stop themselves, it's a compulsion.  That is right.  I feel all those things.  I didn't realise that when I first began writing.  I knew I liked doing it and I'd spend all day writing stories up in my bedroom and only come out (reluctantly) to eat.  When I'm into something eating or anything else is not important.  I eat because I know I should.  I'll snack on unhealthy things and quickly so I can get back to it - or eat while I'm writing.  When the momentum  is there, while I'm 'in the zone' I don't want to break it or the bubble might burst.

I write also because I have ideas that I must put on paper even if they don't go anywhere afterwards.  Sometimes they are too personal to share but writing helps me to express how I feel and it gets it out of the system.  These writings sometimes end up in something else, perhaps a line or a word.  They may lead to other writing but not always.

Also I love playing with words, trying to express myself differently, from a new angle or someone elses point of view.  I may choose a subject that is new to me.  This is where all these books I've gathered come in useful....the 'how to's' of poetry.  They contain exercises which take me into new areas and that is refreshing for me.

I began writing for me and it was later, much later that I wondered if anyone would like what I wrote.  While I was happy in my teens and early twenties to take my latest song to Mum and Dad and say 'hey listen' (poor them what could they say!) I didn't share my poetry with them.  It was only after I'd been published in more than one magazine that I thought I might actually be not bad at this.So I kept going, trying to improve, reading other people's poetry, taking classes and courses.  But it can be a lonely process.  I have one friend who likes to write and though we write different things we can commiserate, discuss and exchange information relevant to each of us. But a lot of my friends aren't interested so apart from maybe saying the odd thing they don't understand and quickly lose interest.

It is hard for me to take it seriously.  I often feel guilty when I'm writing as everything else gets left.  There is that tendency to think of writing as a hobby, something you indulge in now and then.  I guess that's how it started.  I'm not sure when I began to think of it as something more and think of myself as a writer.  Who else feels that way?  How do we overcome that?  Do let me know.

At the end of the day I'd still say that I write because I love doing it and despite the frustrations there is something great about the completed piece, a satisfaction of words coming together that I feel proud of or that expresses that image, feeling and situation just the way I want.  After countless edits it all falls into place and I wonder why I agonised over it for so long because the finished product seems so simple.

So, why do you write?  What gets the adrenalin pounding to take up a pen and pour words onto paper? Please share.

Reviewing the year

It's that time of year when one looks back on what one has achieved over the year.  For me I feel I have had the best year ever for my writing and I finally feel as if something is happening.  I am spending longer writing, I've actually got back into writing stories (which I never thought would happen) maybe because I am writing for myself and not aiming it at a particular market.  I just don't write those stories you see in women's magazines.  I read them occasionally but I don't write them.  I am not sure where my writing would fit in but I am enjoying it, whether it's good or bad!

To assess my achievements this year:

• I have had seven poems printed in the Open University Poets Workbook, one of which I am hoping will make it to the Anthology (only one poem per member is published and it comes down to members votes).  Those poems left will be freed up to submit elsewhere.
• Four poems published in Areopagus, one was a competition winner (£10 prize)
• Runner up in an online poetry competition with Foyles (signed copy of a book)
• Two poems published with What the Dickens? magazine
• Runner up with Poetry Forum (online) (£5 Amazon voucher).

Against that I have had eight poems rejected but I still have five 'out there' waiting for a yes or no. I entered my first pamphlet competition which I am still waiting to hear on also and have taken part in several poetry courses/workshops/forums throughout the year.

So what is next?  Well, keep writing for one.  Target some different small press magazines, enter competitions, just keep on doing what I'm doing and network!

My proudest achievement is being published in What the Dickens?  The feeling that gave me was wonderful and I was actually shaking when I heard.

I'm looking forward to the Small Stones writing (begins tomorrow) and reading the contributions of others taking part.

I find New Year exciting ...new starts, new adventures, new skills to learn.  I hope your New Year will also be both exciting and rewarding.  Cheers!

Just writing....

It's a windy, wet day and I'm happy to be indoors and writing.  I've typed up a new poem I wrote a couple of days ago and have edited it and I've also managed to write the next part of an ongoing story.  It seems ages since I've been back to it.  I need to mull over the next part for a while before I go back to it.  I see that I've written just over 4,000 words now!  I'm already thinking that I should re-write the beginning but again I'll  look at it again later, probably when the rest is written.

I've just signed up for the Mindful Writing Boosters to help me get going on January 1st when I start writing Small Stones.

Just two more days before we begin a new year.  I wonder what that holds.

Words a-brewing, result coming soon!

I've had this idea brewing in my head for a while now.  Something I see every time I pass it.  I felt there was a poem in there but recently it has been forming into prose. I began to write the first part, then on my way to the Pre-Raphaelite Exhibition yesterday (read my other blog for a review) these thoughts began to work themselves into a longer offering and at last I knew how I would write it.  This morning I sat down and wrote the rest of it.  I'm not sure what it can be classed as but I needed to write it.  At present it is in longhand and I need to type it up.  Once I'm finished I think I'll post it here.  So keep an eye out!

Writing day and thoughts about an online soap!

I decided to give this day over to write as there is nothing else on as such.  Yesterday I sent off three poems as competition entries (all for the same comp) and two poems for the next OU Poets Workbook.

Today I've been looking again at a story I started at least a year ago, maybe two!  My ideas for writing this was to perhaps publish it online as a sort of online soap.  It's written in small chunks, changing scenes quite quickly like a TV soap.  It is based on a community in the countryside....no not quite Emerdale, but there are farms!  Also the idea came from something similar I did at work years ago, posting up a new episode every week.  Well, I'm back working on it.  In fact reading J.K. Rowling's book A Casual Vacancy reminded me of my 'soap'.  Her book is great and I've really warmed to certain characters and hate others.  I'm over half way through it now and really into it.

So, I am toying with idea of posting perhaps the first edition of my story up here for some feedback, especially as story writing has taken a back seat with me for so long.  I can't say when I'll do it.  Some urging and support required here!!

Well I think it's time for a break and some fresh air.  I need to think where my 'soap' is going next.

We

Holiday writing

Just got back from a week in Cromer on the North Norfolk coast.  I was very good and took an exercise book to write in and a book about writing poetry.  I intended to do some of the exercises but I needed some poetry to look at.  The cottage had lots of paperback novels but no poetry books (um....wonder why?).  I tried writing one poem but it never 'clicked'.  I did however do a proper first draft of a poem I tried to write last year after my holiday in Hull, the notes from which happened to be in the exercise book!  I feel I have a handle on it now so progress might be made.

Another piece of writing I started was a short story.  The idea was from my 'morning pages' and I began to piece together the bones of it.  Trouble is I haven't quite worked out the plot.  I have several ideas but none of them really feels right.  Still at least I have got a few handwritten pages to type up but I don't feel I can go on until I have more of an idea where this is going.

I've also had a letter from a lady who belongs to OU Poets, like me, and she has asked if she can have my permission to translate 6-8 of my poems into Romanian for a literary magazine there.  We are in contact at present about that.  I'm flattered!  Had a look at the website.  Of course it's all in Romanian so I can't read it but it looks good.  The magazine is published online and also as a hard copy.

Working with dreams

Dreams are funny things, well some of mine are! I know I've written about using dreams as a way into stories and poems before but lately I've had two good ideas from my dreams. The last one was very audible as I had music ringing in my ears! But it was also quite vivid and as soon as I got up I knew where I wanted to go with this and I scribbled everything down.  It is still in draft form but I will leave it now and come back to is another time and see how it works.

A previous dream was also very vivid, funnily enough also with a link to music, but also art (two of my other passions so is it any wonder I dream about them!), but it was also about a meeting with someone I didn't know but there was a great attraction! Again this provided material for a poem which I am still working on.

Don't dismiss dreams because often they place you in positions you might not find yourself in real life and you can use as much or as little of the original dream in your writing.  All you need is an idea from that dream which will take you to an interesting place or different situation, evoke a whole span of emotions that can be captured. My dreams are often very noisy, I don't know why. Music does seem to feature quite a lot as I have heard the most wonderful music, something I'd not heard in waking life!  I also dream in colour, so it's full on!

A writer needs inspiration and if dreams can be used to flush out ideas then use them.