The scary idea of pitching and a shortlisted story

It's taken me a couple of months but I decided to order a print copy of Gold Dust magazine in which a story of mine was published in December. I wanted time to read the rest of the magazine, and though it is freely available to read online I was struggling with the small print despite zooming in. Yesterday my copy arrived. I'm glad I spent money to get hold of it. It is concrete proof I was published there! I was that excited opening it.

I can also tell you that I was shortlisted for the Retreat West Prize (short story). I heard a while ago that I was longlisted and thought that would be the end of it. I was thrilled even so. I then got through to the next level - shortlisted. Unfortunately I heard the other day that I didn't get into the top three. I am disappointed but then again I got further than I ever thought possible and it has given me encouragement. My story will be published in the anthology due out in the summer and I believe there is a cash prize and an invite to the launch. So, when I have recovered from the disappointment I will see what a great run I've had with this story. I am proud of this achievement.

February has been a busy month for me. I've been going crazy with submissions - competitions and a few magazines. I seem to have reached a stop now. Maybe I'm out of steam. In April I am attending Write By the Beach run by The Beach House Academy. I went along last year for their first writers' conference on a Saturday (held in Brighton). This year is over a weekend and every delegate gets the chance to pitch to an agent/publisher (two if you are there for the weekend). So, I've been tearing my hair out over a sixty word document for a novel to pitch. It was hard to condense an 84,000 word novel down to 60 words and hope it sounds irresistible. I know pitching is a great opportunity and everyone suffers with nerves but I felt ill just preparing this. Sometimes I think I should opt out and just enjoy the weekend because I know I'll worry the whole time. But then again that would be stupid. It's at these moments I think my writing is rubbish and no will be interested, yet I've had great feedback from ladies from my book group on stories I've shared with them  - they are so supportive - my first fans! God bless them!

Micro writing and waiting for my characters to call.

I've been doing more reading than writing lately. The new comedy novel is proving slow and at one point I had to stop because the current scene I was writing didn't feel right. I had to mull it over and play it out in my head. I went back to it the next day and re-wrote it. However, I have left it alone for the past few days. I decided I needed to do other things - catch up on reading, go out more. The 'out' has mainly been in the garden reading! The weather had been wonderful and this always pull me outside.

The only thing I have been writing is very short pieces. I started to follow #microprompt on Twitter. They put up a new word every day and invite you to write a piece with that word in it. I've written about four so far. I don't do it every day but I do enjoy the challenge of writing even more concise pieces. I try not to go for the obvious in order that my piece stands out. I was rewarded with a comment of 'gorgeous' from microprompt after one of my tweets. I was thrilled and it has encouraged me to continue as well as reacting to others who tweet using the prompt.

The Poetry Book Fair is holding a poetry competition for those of you who are poets, and the fair is on Saturday 17th September. It's a great place to pick up poetry books and hear poets read.There is always a buzz around it. I'd recommend it.

As well as reading books I'm catching up with Writing Magazine, enjoying the articles and refueling the enthusiasm to get writing again,. It will come. Eventually, my characters will be shouting at me to come back and get on with their story. In the meantime I've left my main character with his head in his hands at his office desk. About how I feel sometimes!

The next move?

Food for thought - maybe a bowl of homemade soup
will help me think through my next move!

I seem to be stuck right now. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. I read an article the other day which said that when you have written your novel you should set it aside for six months. Six months? I do see the point in a way. After all I often put my poems away for a while because when I came back to them stuff shouts out at me. The longer I leave it the louder it shouts!

My problem is this: I finished my comic novel in December. I did the first read through/edit earlier this month and then after only six days I went straight into the second edit which I finished a few days ago. That's fast....probably too fast. There are, I know, things I want to add and I'm especially concerned about the beginning, even after re-writing the first few paragraphs. Last time I looked I bracket round a paragraph I'm thinking of deleting! I suppose I should leave it for a longer time and do something else. But what?

There is my first novel festering away after several edits. Just thinking about it makes me turn my back and consider anything but this! I've tried changing the viewpoint in the first few chapters and I don't know if it works better or not. I seem to have become bogged down with it and am worried that too much editing might leave it in a state where I have over done it. Does anyone know what I mean?

To take my mind off all that I have booked myself a place at the Beach Hut Writing Academy one day conference in Brighton on 12th March (if anyone else is going let me know). There are opportunities to meet agents but I'm not sure I am ready for that again, both mentally and at the right stage in my manuscripts. The venue overlooks the beach - I fear my eyes will wander! The programme looks good and hopefully I will learn something.

The other thing I have been doing is searching for some outlets for some poetry. I'm not sure how I feel about poetry competitions right now but I did submit one to Magma earlier this month and have just sent two off to the Kent & Sussex Poetry Society open poetry competition. I have a couple of other poems ready to go to a magazine but I cannot submit until February, so they are waiting.

I know I'm going to have to tackle the editing issue of the first novel soon. I was pleased with it when I wrote it but I have written a lot of other things since then. Each time I write I think 'this is the one', so the first novel falls further down the list. And there is my goal of getting a novel to an agent this year (even if it does come straight back). The two nearest ready are the comic novel and the first novel. I'm reluctant to flit to the detective one (50,000 words written during NaNoWriMo in 2014) because it will drag me away from the other two, especially as it needs so much work, research and insider advice on all things Police (though I do have a potential person for that).

Recently I was looking for older things I have written and was searching on several memory sticks and came across something I didn't recognise. It took me a while to confirm it was my writing and not something I'd copied for a course I'd done. What made me consider the writing was that I liked it and automatically thought 'this isn't mine!' But it was. Written some years before I started the first novel it had echoes of it which is when it dawned on me that this was my writing. It's the start of another sort of time slip novel - different characters, different story. I have no idea where I thought this was going, so if I want to resurrect it I will have to do some major potting etc. It's now in my holding file. Maybe I could turn it into a short story instead of a novel. What was so good was the writing and how it surprised and excited me. I can only hope my writing has this affect on any agent I might submit my work to!

The stress of Mothering Sunday and online competition entries

I wonder if this is one I made earlier!

Mother's Day - supposed to be relaxing isn't it? If only! As leader of a Mothers' Union branch, church on Mothering Sunday can be full of stress and this one certainly was. Firstly, when I arrived I was asked if I'd do the first reading that morning. Having a quick look through to see there were no odd unpronounceable names I agreed - though I get so nervous. My blood pressure must have already been through the roof because we were due to dedicate a Mothers' Union Banner, or rather the vicar was. However, he seemed to have misunderstood which banner it was and I was having kittens about how to sort it out before it all became a farce when one of the church wardens went and had a word with him. But the sorting out came after I read so I had all this going through my mind while trying to keep calm, not speak too fast and make sure the microphone was at my level!

I received my little bunch Daffs at the end of the service (our MU branch makes about 100 on Friday afternoon) then realised the lady in front of me didn't have one so I gave her mine and had to chase the vicar round the church to grab one of the last remaining bunches for myself!

Having survived the morning (oh we had a bake sale as well) I went back at home and with both boys out it was just hubby and I so I sat down to lunch and watched a calming episode of Murder She Wrote - nothing too taxing!

I decided to submit my entry to Mslexia and proceeded to get stressed over numbering the pages of my short story. I had to submit a cover sheet with the story but all as one document. I had no idea how to miss off numbering the cover sheet and start numbers on the next without it wanting to start with page 2! I 'googled it' and followed the instructions but still couldn't get it right. After umpteen attempts it worked. I'm still not sure how I did it and whether I will ever do it again but my stress was not yet over.

I paid the entry fee and looked for a box to upload my file. Couldn't find one. I re-read the entry details and the FAQ. Still no luck. By this time I was coming out in a sweat. I found an email address for queries and sent it there saying I hoped it was right. I went back to FAQ and saw that they said it can take up to 24 hours for the payment to go through and if you don't hear send the story to the email address I'd just used! Why can't Mslexia have an upload button like most other competitions? Please think of the stress levels of participants. I always get anxious about submitting online (especially as my laptop crashed once in the middle of making a payment) so the more these people can do to help the better. Obviously I didn't read the FAQ thoroughly enough first time round but really all the info should be on the main competition page.

I'm now going to stick my head in bucket of something cool!

An interesting collection of Mothers' Day gifts!
Choc, candles and food boxes (I did need these
so I am strangely satisfied!)

Inspired!

Today fired up by what a couple of friends said about my poetry I entered six poems into Chapbook competition. Meanwhile you can find my commended poem here (scroll to the bottom!)

Excuse the short post - got to go and sort dinner!

The big entry push

I've been dithering and down in the dumps because of it so action was the only way out of it. A couple of days ago I decided that the collection of themed poetry I've been writing might as well go somewhere instead of sitting in my computer. So I picked what I thought was the best and sent 16 off to Templar Poetry Pamphlet competition. This is third pamphlet competition I've had a go at and the second with Templar. It's a chance worth taking as I actually had over twenty poems on a theme (one is out somewhere else so I decided not to use that one just in case I had to withdraw it).

Then more dithering over the National Poetry Competition. I said I'd never enter again but I've sent three poems! Then while I was on a roll I also entered three poems to Magma Poetry Competition!
I feel good that I've done something. I've written quite a few new poems lately which I really like but when I come to enter competitions I doubt myself and tell myself my poems are not good enough. Then I get down about my writing and it's a slippery slope. I probably won't get anywhere but at least I've tried and it's relieved that feeling of hopelessness that's been hanging around for the last week or so. I guess I should be pleased I have so many poems I can send out. Somehow I've increased my writing output this year which can be no bad thing.

Before I forget, I watched the drama about Dylan Thomas, A Poet in New York, last night on BBC2 (I missed it the first time around). Of course I like Tom Hollander (he was great in Rev) and I thought he portrayed the poet well as his self-destructive lifestyle caught up with him. I found the end very moving.

The frustration of competitions

The rejections are coming in now. Three or four more and I will have a complete set! The judge of the US Found Poetry competition thought my entry was too clever and not really a poem - what does that mean?  It's strange but I really don't care right now yet other times when I get rejections I get very down.

Although I took pens and paper with me on my walking holiday I did no writing at all. Now I'm back I've been thinking about my novel and while I was relaxing listening to music yesterday I had a light bulb moment about the ending. I'm getting towards that point....the finish is in sight.

I put in an entry to the Star Writing Fiction Facebook page (500 word story on loss) and voting started the day I left for my holiday so I put my votes in before I left. When I came back someone had asked if they could vote for their own entry and was told yes you can! Am I missing something here? I give up!

Rejection, rejections

Just been checking up on sites to see who won various competitions that I entered.  Don't know why I did it because if I'd even got a mention they'd have emailed me.  So I'm sulking and wondering why I bother, all those usual negative emotions that come from rejection.  I read one winning entry and I thought why?  What was SO brilliant about it because to me it was not outstanding in any way, nothing to make me want to read it again.  Surely there were better poems even if it wasn't mine?

Well, I think I'm giving up on competitions for now and will try my luck back plodding round the small press magazine circle - if I can pull myself out of my hole of depression!  O woe is me!!

Areopagus did print a line from my competition entry.  The aim was to write a Psalm (Areopagus is a Christian Writers magazine).  At least I got a mention.  Good old Areopagus, my faithful friends!

I'm now going to depart (not literally) and go and lie down in a darkened room to brood, swear and cry.
Oh, by the way HAPPY EASTER and look the sun is out!