Books, glasses and writing

Signs of spring

 I've never been one to read a book to the end if it doesn't suit me. The Sea by John Banville was one of those. The book was adapted for TV, but I'd not watched it. The blurb on the back of the book made it sound my kind of read. Sadly, it wasn't. Don't get me wrong, it's beautifully written, but so slow. Description far outweighed dialogue (and I'm a dialogue kind of girl) and I'm afraid I gave it up after around 60 pages. Thankfully, this was a library book, so at least I'd not spent money on it. 

There is a backlog of books here at home waiting to be read, so I picked David Bellamy's autobiography, a book that belonged to my cousin and which I rescued when clearing her house last year. I'd grown up watching David Bellamy on TV and still own his book Botanic Man. Eveyone on TV in those days was doing impressions of David Ballmay romping through the foliage. He was just one of those guys. I even did it myself, along with my impression of David Attenborough and Alan Wicker (the Monty Python version). Yes, I am a sad person! Or is that mad?

Anyway, Jolly Green Giant is an apt title for David Bellamy's autobiography. I learned that he was born not that far from me in a place I love to visit - Carshalton, and he mentioned catching the 213 bus which runs all the way to Kingston (one of my bus routes).

David charts his life through home, school and university and how he became a Don at Durham University. He married Rosemary and after a stream of miscarriages and baby deaths, they finally had a child. After that they adopted many children. As well as a being a botanist David taught, lectured and wrote so many books. I don't know how he found time while travelling all over the world for projects and TV shows. He campaigned widely on issues close to his heart, and he gave a speech on how he would like to see the future of this world. He died in 2019. David did so much to encourage others to take species loss and the damage to our planet seriously. He was one of the greats, a man I admire. He was funny, but serious about his aims. 

David talked about Gerald Durrell, another wonderful man. I first came across Durrell at school when we read one of his books. I think it was The Bafut Beagles. If I am right, and this was about 50 years ago, some of it was written in the pidgin English of the natives in Cameroon. For some reason we never finished the book. I wasn't a great reader in those days, but that book intrigued me. As an adult, I visited Gerald Durrell's zoo in Jersey and loved it and what he was doing. Of course, a few years back there was the wonderful TV series. I miss that.

I've always been interested in nature and in my later years have even been on protest marches standing up for the environment, but like David Ballamy says, sometimes it's like banging your head against a brick wall getting people to change. Having just watched the documentary called Dirty Business on Channel 4 about the state of our water, it brings it home to you how companies lie for profits. I hope the documentary (which was excellent - do watch it) changes something.

I needed a lighter book after all that, so I'm reading one from the Summer Mysteries series by LJ Ross.

I now have a pair of reading glasses. This is to make things easier when I use the laptop. They do help a little, but I think the main problem is that I cannot get the laptop at the right height. What I need is a separate screen and keyboard. Basically, I need a desktop. The alternative is to raise the laptop on some sort of platform and use a separate keyboard plugged into one of the USB ports. All this will take space I don't have, so I am persevering and making the best of it. It's a sad fact that my sight isn't ever going to be perfect. I've been wearing glasses since I was five years old, so I suppose I've not done bad all these years.

Meanwhile, back at the writing, I can tell you I am writing again and it's going well. I manage around 1,000 words or more a day, but because I don't want to put the kibosh on it, I'm not yet revealing what the project is.

I've just had the proofs through for two poems to be published by Stoat Poetry. The journal is going to the printer next week, I believe, so I should have something to report about it next time, I hope.

And here we are at the beginning of March. How did that happen? Easter will soon be upon us. If I get my act together I might even try and make a few Easter cards this year. See you next time.

Stress and writing

Photo by SEO Galaxy on Unsplash

 How does stress affect you as a writer? For me, I find it hard to write. At the moment I have things going on and I feel like I'm on hamster wheel and can't get off. I'd hoped this year would be better in this respect, but it seems to be a continuation of last year. There is so much to be done and at times I feel overwhelmed by everything. I've found it very hard to write anything new, or indeed to concentrate on editing existing work. I know I overreact, but knowing that doesn't help. It is my nature to feel anxious, especially about things I have no control over. So, what, if anything, works?

For me, switching off usually involves reading or listening to music. They are my go-to stress busters, yet the problems linger in the background. Walking, getting away for a day somewhere also helps, but that isn't always possible. Being with friends who make me laugh is a great help too. Where would I be without those great friends of mine?

 Stress interrupts sleep. I either can't get to sleep, or wake too early and can't get back to sleep. Sometimes both! Lack of sleep then adds to the problem. I get snappy with people, and I feel cold all the time. I can't concentrate and can't settle to anything for long.

Today, I have fallen back on my trusty herbal tablets. These should help me feel calmer and hopefully able to sort out the things I need to do without getting into a state. When anxious, my decision making isn't as good and/or I make mistakes. It's time to take action.

I wonder how others deal with stress and/or depression when writing. I think some write through it, but I find if I do write at these times it reflects how I feel, so angry words, dark subjects, and I usually have to scrap what I've written, or at least tone it down! It's probably more about me than anything else, and I wouldn't want anyone to read it. Another way is to just write my feelings down to try and exercise the ghost, as it were. However, this can become self-indulgent and ends up making me feel more depressed! When the reading and music stop working, I know I'm in trouble.

It's not all doom and gloom. There are lights in the darkness. I've had two poems accepted for a new poetry print magazine (two poems from a set of four I submitted last year and was awaiting the outcome of). I'm thrilled about that. More news to come on that.

I have been trying to edit a short manuscript; it feels like an uphill struggle. It needs to be gone through again before I let anyone see it. It doesn't help that the subject matter of the piece is a little depressing and contains very little humour, which is unusual for me. I have even considered abandoning it, but I don't think I'm in the right mindset to make that decision right now. So, I'm leaving it for a bit.

Submitting poetry and short fiction is something I wanted to get back to this year, and I have managed to submit to two places this month so far. At the moment I don't have any particular goals. Last year was a great year for my writing, but I can't keep that up. I feel a bit wiped out, so I am not rushing into anything at the moment. I've had the opportunity to sign up for courses, but again, I'm not ready to tackle them. My personal life is commanding so much of my attention right now I cannot commit to much else. So, I am doing bits and pieces when I can with no big projects to aim for yet. Sometimes you just have to look after yourself.

I have another nice photo to share with you from my launch night for Tinsel Street. This was taken with my friend Ioana, who took her play to the Edinburgh Fringe last year. If you would like to find out more about her work, you can find her on Instagram @joan-of-all-trades.

If you have comments about how you deal with stress as a writer or anything else, do leave a message. See you next time.

Sharing the highs & lows with others + tips

 

Photo by NMG Network on Unsplash

I'm having a catch-up on my magazines now I'm taking a break from writing (though I'm writing here, and do some form of writing every day, but you know what I mean). Two articles caught my eye, both in Writing Magazine. One was in the October issue and the second in the November issue. The first spoke about writers only talking about their successes and not their disappointments. Hey, have they met me? I've always written about the lows. I may have had a little success recently (big in my goal-setting), but it has taken me years for this, and I still remember how low I felt at one time. I almost quit. And the sad fact is that some writers never make it and/or quit writing.

I don't kid myself that now things will be easier. This is a high, a big one for me, but at some stage I have to go back to submitting my work and going through the whole rejection and lows again. What's different is that these days I don't let it get to me as I once did. Which brings me to the second article about how to survive the lows.

Basically, setting out as a writer, there is no way you can avoid the rejections and pain. We all go through it. I've even heard bestselling writers talk about crying over the phone to an agent who says the second book is not good enough. They struggle too. Life is tough as a writer.

Here are my tips on this aspect of writing from my own experience (some of this I've written about before):

• Submit several things and keep doing it. Don't sit around waiting to hear (sometimes you get no response at all). Keep working away, submitting and trying to forget about hearing back from anyone. That way you are not dwelling on the reply and eventually rejections won't hurt so much.
• After a rejection, mourn, have a tantrum, do whatever you need to for a day and then forget it. Look at the piece again. Can you do more edits to improve it? Then submit the piece elsewhere. The reason for rejection may not be down to your writing (which we all think is the reason). You have to remember how many submissions agents and magazines get.
• If you get a request to send more of your work after a rejection, do send them something else for the next open submission window. They may have liked your piece but have no room to publish it. A positive rejection is worth having and remembering.
• If you are lucky enough to have feedback on your work (rare, but it does happen, and some will give feedback at a price), take note of what is said and go back to the piece and see if you agree. They are usually right, even if at first you are so angry you want to throw your laptop through the window. It's happened to me! This is the way you learn.
• Nothing is ever wasted. Even a piece that doesn't quite work may do in something else. I rarely throw anything away, just in case. And do keep a note of where and when you send things. Some small presses don't mind multiple submissions, but I try to avoid that. I write everything down in a book as well as writing a card. The card is good because its easier to see where pieces have been sent before (so you don't send it back to the same place a few months later). Excel works for some people, but I hate it. Do what works for you.
• Celebrate each acceptance and when they build up, remember these when you are having months of rejections and feeling down. We are such a negative lot, us writers. It doesn't matter how many successes we have, it's the rejections we remember. But if you have been published, especially after a few times, your work has found the heart of someone who wants to publish you. That's a big thing.
• If you are lucky enough to have a book published, enjoy it, celebrate it. Now you have to go and write another one!
• Do talk about those lows, the difficulties you experience because it actually helps others. Writing is a lonely business, and we need to talk about the highs and low with other writer. They are the only ones who will understand. If you talk to non-writing friends you may get that devastating line, 'Well, it's only a hobby.' It maybe, depending on why you write, but for others it's a slap in the face.
• Do you have goals? Some people go all out with big, unrealistic goals that are doomed to fail. Once,  in the past, I set myself a goal of 'making it' in the five years I'd given myself. Ha! My advice, aim low, that way you are less likely to be disappointed, and any success is then a bonus. Example: For my first self-published book my goal was to sell 20 books. I sold about 22, so I was really pleased. For Tinsel Street my aim was to sell more than that book. Goal reached!

Photo by Ashutosh khot on Unsplashhighs

My writing goals for this year were to publish two books, and I've done that. Leading up to those came years of writing, re-writing and editing, and in the case of the Lawnmower book, gathering work previously published over a number of years. I've not thought about goals for next year yet. After the year I've had it's too soon. I've had family illness and my cousin's estate to attend to while all this was going on. Talk about stress!

So, keep submitting. No submitting means no chances. Get your name out there one way or another. Choose smaller competitions if that's what you are drawn to. Big poetry competitions seem to be dominated by big-name poets. Try not to dwell on the negatives, and celebrate the positives and acceptances. Let everyone know. Get on social media and follow poets/writers you like. Even though X is toxic these days, I do find competitions and submission windows through them.

If you writing novels some of the above applies. We would all love to be traditionally published, but the more I read about it, the less I think it would be for me. That is a choice you have to make and another whole blog post! However, it's down to goals again and what you deem success.

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

Book launch event & other stuff

Photo by Nika Benedictova on Unsplash

 I have just read this article comparing writing and editing like knitting. Yes, it has a lot in common. Do give this a read. It made a lot of sense to me as I have knitted in the past and dropped stitches. My mum and grandmother were great knitters. I remember my gran knitting vests in two-ply on thin needles. Oh the patience (I'm afraid I liked large needles and big wool because I had no patience!). When I dropped stitches they were always there to bail me out. They are no longer there and so there is no one to bail me out, which is why the throw I made has dropped stitches and mistakes I couldn't rectify.

What has this to do with editing? A lot, because we all need someone to turn to when we get stuck, have a plot hole or can't see the woods for the trees. We need expert help, and we shouldn't feel shy about asking for help. Anyway, read the article and it will all make sense.

Meanwhile, I've a poem published in Streetcake. Follow the link here and scroll down to page 11. I also heard from Underbelly that they are to publish my story soon. I will post the link here when I have it.

I now have the A5 flyers for my book launch of Tinsel Street. Do you like it? A friend of mine designed it and Troubador put it together in keeping it with my bookmarks. So, if you can, do come along. I would love to see you.

Next time I will be giving you the low down on who is who in Tinsel Street with a little about the characters. Don't miss it.

Feeling energised

Found a friend in Norwich!

 Just a quick post this time. The weather is finally sunny and warm (during the day at least), and I have been able to get into the garden and dig the two big beds over. The robin hovered while I was digging, eying up the tasty worms, and while I have placed old compost bags over one bed (to stop weeds and keep the soil warm before I plant), I gave the robin free access overnight to this one and a total freedom over the other.

The good weather has changed something in me. I feel energised, happy and fully alive for the first time this year. I've been busy, but taking time to sit with Rue (the dog) on the bench in the garden to read. He loves the sun and can't wait to get out there to hog the bench. Last year gardening was quite stressful as Rue would steal canes, gardening loves, flowerpots and raid the green waste for anything to chew. This year he has settled down (he will be three in August), and while I still keep watch, I often find him sunning himself on the bench, totally ignoring me. I just want this weather to last now.

Rue

In writing, after having had a piece of flash fiction shortlisted, but not picked, I immediately sent it out again. Success! My piece has been chosen and should be published by the end of the month. I am really excited and proud of this piece and cannot wait to share this one with you.

Meanwhile, I am gradually creating a website. I won't tell you about the stress getting things started has caused. Taking some advice, which just messed with my head, and having to backtrack. It's a slow work in progress. I thought it would be easier after having creating my blog. I'm not a techie person, but anyway I shall see how it goes.

Last week I made a quick trip to Norwich to visit a friend. We had a lovely time, but on the second day, we almost got drowned in a deluge. I was squeezing water out of my sleeve. But we found a nice cafe to sit and dry out in. We got out our notebooks and wrote. We did timed themed prompts between one minute to eight minutes. One piece I wrote felt like the beginning of something and I have worked on it since being home and now it is a fully formed short story. I've not written one of those in a while. Usually it's flash or poetry. It was good to work together again. We always have lots of laughs and make the most of our time together.

Writing away

There is going to be some exciting news coming soon, but I do not want to jinx things, so I am staying quiet for now. |

Enjoy the sunshine and I will see you again soon.

Update on writing and book reviews

 I have been writing. Oh yes, I have! While waiting for feedback on my Christmas themed novella, I went back to something I started at least a year ago. It will be part of a trilogy, and this is the last part. I'm about half way through now and these three stories are my first foot into a bit of horror. Getting back into it was a struggle at first, but I'm making headway now, though as usual I have no idea about the ending. 

Some weeks back, I went to an event at the Southbank Centre entitled Can Poets Speak to Trees? The event was hosted by Nina Mingya Powles, a writer and zinemaker from Aotearoa in New Zealand. Unfortunately one poet, Elizabeth Jane-Burnett (author of Twelve Words for Moss) was unable to attend, due to the train strike, but another poet came (sorry I forget the name) whose views were very close to mine on the state of the planet. The other poet was Pratyusha, author of Second Memory. The poets began by reading from their books before going on to discuss their poetry and the many aspects of it. These included which season were they most driven to write, how their poetry relates to the planet and trees, and if indeed we can speak to trees. I think the upshot was that we don't really understand the language of trees, though we know a fair amount about their relationship with fungi and the wood wide web. We know they sense things, like invasion, from insects, and can pass this information on to other trees (much like plants do).

It was a fascinating talk. The floor was then thrown open to the audience to ask questions. One question was: do you have hope for the future? One answer was yes, but not for us. The earth will survive very well without us. And that has always been my view. We need the planet more than the planet needs us!

I found the session very inspiring and already I could feel 'tree poems' bursting in my head. In the past I have written a succession of tree poems, which was why this talk interested me so much. I now have very rough drafts of another four poems to work on.

After the talk, I decided to re-join The Poetry Library. I was a member years ago, and in fact still have my original orange card. It fascinated the lady on the desk as she'd never seen one before. The Poetry Library has thousands of books, as well as study rooms and shelf displays of poetry magazines. At first it was a little overwhelming to know where to start, but I borrowed a couple by well known poets to get me started. You can borrow up to four books for four weeks. They also run events throughout the year with visiting poets and discussions.

Book Reviews

The first two books are related, though one is fiction and one is non-fiction. They deal with pre-historic Britain. I've had a fascination for the stone age since I was at junior school, and I've read many books about pre-history and where we as human started. My favourite fiction books were the Earth's Children series by author Jean M Auel. I remember reading The Clan of the Cave Bear avidly, and it is still my favourite book of all the series. It takes you back to the time when mingling between tribes occurred. The girl Ayla, was rescued from an earthquake by a woman of the Clan. The Clan speak mostly in grunts. Ayla was different, from a new tribe, more like us and the books follow her journey to adulthood. I could not wait to get my hands on the next book!

The first book, The Gift of Stones is a reminder of those times and is about a community of stone tool makers, knappers. The main character lost an arm as a child when he was shot with an arrow by one of the traders. The arm had to be amputated. The boy had never had the gift of stones that the others had, and was a bit of a dreamer. As he grew, the community thought him useless as a worker. One day on his wanders, he came across a woman and child living on their own. The father had gone to trade with his two sons and had never come back. The character begins to tell stories about his adventures to the community. He becomes their storyteller. One day after a raid he brings the woman and child back and for a while they live with his uncle, until the woman builds her own house. The story is told through the eyes of the woman's child. From my reading other books, I'm guessing this story is set in Neolithic times, just as the end of of the stone age, where it begins to overlap with the bronze age, as towards the end of the book the community come into contact with metal arrows. It is the main character who leads them out of their quarry when they realise that trading flint is no longer viable as metal takes over. This was a very different kind of book, by an author I'd not known before. An interesting read.

Ancestors: The Prehistory of Britain in Seven Burials by Professor Alice Roberts, looks at the remains of burials from stone age through to pre-Roman times. She talks about who first discovered the remains (interested clergy and Pitt Rivers are mentioned), their attitudes to sexuality (males must have been the warriors), grave goods, religion and death. It was a fascinating read. Professor Alice Roberts has, of course, appeared in many TV programmes on the subject of pre-history. She talked about how we must not have preconceived ideas about what we find; about how technology has advanced so much from those early days with  the regular using of Carbon 14 dating, and more recent advances that will tell us even more.

The final book I want to mention is Nightwalking by John Lewis-Stempel. Split into the four seasons, the author walks the fields with his dog catching glimpses of wildlife we would probably not otherwise see. He walks in rain and snow, and the heat of a summer's evening. Nothing stops him. There are also diary notes from each season and a glossary at the back of the book. The prose is beautifully poetic as the author describes his surroundings and the animals he sees. You feel you are with him. I also love the front cover! This is a keeper.

Book Launch: Where-it-Ends available now

Apologies for photo.
Took it Amazon!

This has been a long time coming. I decided a year ago to put a foot in the door of self-publishing. I learned what I could, but seriously, it's like having a baby, you don't really know what you are letting yourself in for until labour begins!

It really has been a long labour, and a traumatic one beginning in October. I had to take each step slowly due to my stress levels, stepping back for a few days at a time. I had decided to publish a set of linked flash stories, a Novella-in-flash, but soon came across the difficulties of actually doing this. The re-formatting in Word ready for KDP was, in the end, not the worst part. I got stuck on every step until my head felt like it would burst. 

Not that I want to put people off. I'm just not technically minded, and I am a complete novice. I considered a cover designer, but for a book as small as mine the cost was just not viable. Pre-made designs didn't suit either. So, against all advice, I have designed my own cover, asking my son for advice using the software. Tears? Yes, there were some. The problems came two weeks later when I re-edited my book cover. All fine with the eBook. but the paperback version would not load and came back with error messages, including about my manuscript. The latter confused me as I had sent for a proof copy, and had no problems with uploads. It turned out that the problem was the number of pages - they have to be even. Once fixed, the files uploaded. Hey ho! This was certainly a learning curve. Would I do it again? That reminds me of a question I asked myself after having my first baby. At the time I said no, but then I changed my mind!

So, today my eBook Where it Ends has gone live at Amazon at the princely sum of 99p. The paperback version is still being processed and I will keep you posted on that.

I'd like to thank my followers who have been through my highs and lows of publication over many years. Your encouragement has kept me going.

Please do go and check out my eBook.

Have a lovely weekend.

Rejection - the lows and the highs

One of the first things you find out about as a writer is rejection. It comes at you soon after you begin submitting. Of course you might get lucky and have the first thing you submit published. And then you think you've made it. Hmm, if only. Even bestselling authors suffer rejection, and what is the first thing you think of when rejections come? That you are a bad writer and not worthy of publication. But hang on, let's think about this.

Pieces are rejected for various reasons. I've been to enough writing conferences and workshops to realise that there are so many reasons the story you have laboured over or the poem you have edited for months has not been accepted. 

1. All publications receive far more submissions than they can ever publish.

2. Agents are always looking to reduce their submissions pile, so always make that difficult for them by following their submission rules, however pedantic they are. Don't set yourself up to fail before you even get read.

3. Editors have their own agenda. You may submit something that doesn't fit their theme. They might not have set a theme, but if the majority of what lands on their desk seems to suggest a theme, they will go with it. If your piece doesn't fit that, then sadly yours won't be chosen.

4. Your piece may have landed when the agent/editor is having a bad day, or is about to leave the office. Yes, it can be as simple as that.

Rejection is numbing. You might feel like giving up. It makes you cry, eats away at your self-confidence and plays on your theory that your writing is just not up to it. I have attended workshops given by agents where I have come away feeling totally dejected. It's as if agents are putting so many barriers in the way that you will never make it.

What annoys about the subnmission process:

1. Those that say 'send us your best work'. Are you likely to send your worst? And when the rejection comes, the first thing you think is, well, my best is still not good enough.

2. Obscure submission criteria. I do my homework and read what they publish, but am still none the wiser. Their guidelines are so offputting.

3. Waiting months for an outcome. I avoid those who publish once or twice a year and those that take six months to tell you sorry, but no thanks. I rarely send the same work to multiple magazines (even if they allow it), so it means my work is stuck in the system and cannot be submitted elsewhere until I hear.

4. No contact when shortlists etc. have been published. It is sometimes left to me to flit around websites to check where things have got to, though if I've not heard that means 'no'. Even so, if a piece of work is freed up, I'd like to know.

What is positive about rejection:

1. Those editors whose rejection letters are encouraging about your work and suggest you submit again in the future.

2. Those who offer a small critique. I know this is difficult due to time. But just one line is all it takes. Some competitions offer a critque (at a price) or a paragraph as a condition of entry (free). These have made all the difference to me. If you don't know why your piece isn't hitting the top spots, how are you ever going to learn?

3. Speedy replies - four months is about what I'd consider the max for me. However, one publication I know has taken nine months for an answer. I still use them from time to time because it suits me, but nor normally.

There you have it, my personal likes and dislikes about submissions. My experience is mainly with small press magazines, and I am sure you have your own experiences. Please enlighten me! And despite this experience gleaned over many years of submitting, my first thought on rejection is still 'I'm not good enough.' I'm not sure that will ever go away. At times like that, I cling on to the fact that I have been published, so I can't be that bad!

Dilemmas

Since I last posted I have been looking again at self-publishing. For a long time I have considered using Scrivener, as I had been informed it is easy to convert files ready for publishing. So, I downloaded a trial version. It looked great, and I could see the  possibilities,but once I tried to use it for myself, I became quickly frustrated. The way I work is different every time. I have no formula, so my best option would be to use the blank template. Saving documents? Well, that was probably me, as I found files in places I didn't want them. I had trouble opening some of the files too. I became worried about losing work and actually copied and pasted some things into Word! I needed a re-think.

This is the conclusion I have come to (for now!). I actually like working in Word. It's what I know, and it's what people want when you submit work to competitions or magazines. I could see I would end up with two files for every piece of work I was writing. Getting to know Scrivener was going to take a long time, which would make it difficult for ongoing work. I have loads of Word files! What was I going to do?

I began researching online and using some links through A-Z of Publishing (video modules) that I had been working through since last year, and have considered two other options - Draft2Digital and Calibre. I downloaded 'how-to' sheets from various sites and printed them, as I am far better reading for hard copies, though I have saved them too, so I can use more links to useful information. The one that I will find most useful is formatting Word ready for conversion. I have tried out some of the things step-by-step, and found myself going into 'Paragraph', which I have never ventured into before! I'm taking it slow and have managed to format line spacing, font and indents. Next to tackle will be 'Headings' and creating a Table of Contents'. I am working on a particular document that I feel is ready to self-publish, but there is alot to learn along the way. However, I feel that working in Word is still the best option for me.

All this has taken a long time so far, and has been frustrating. For a while I just had to walk away from it all, especially after Scrivener!

Writing-wise, it is just nice that I can meet up with my writing buddy inside a cafe now. We no longer have to freeze on park benches, or hide from the rain. We have returned to a cafe opposite the Thames by Hammersmith Bridge, but we have also written in some nice places, such as Holland Park, Fulham Palace Gardens, Canizarro Park and Wimbledon Park, and during the cold weather Hays Galleria on the South Bank, London and inside Center Court shopping centre in Wimbledon, perched on a ledge outside a shop!

I have received a couple of rejections, and am trying to brush up my first novel for (maybe) submission to a competition. Meanwhile, I recently went back to a novella I began at least a year ago, in the gothic/thriller genre. I had a bit of brainwave about splitting the story using two viewpoints. The two storylines will come together, eventually. I have been enjoying writing the scenes. I've been doing what I used to do, playing the scenes out in my head first before I write them. It makes writing easier because I know what is coming! Sometimes I make notes for later.

I have been tidying my garden shed, making it a bit more comfy, and have hung a banner inside. I swept up (potting up plants is never a tidy task!), and then I took my laptop down there. There is a folding chair with a fleece over it and a small folding plant stand that I use as a table for my paperwork. I'm used to working with my laptop on my lap, anyway. Also, I have a solar light, so I can work in the evenings, which I did one night. However, it is not warm enough to work in during the cold weather, but now our youngest son has moved out, his room will come in useful during the winter!

I have come to stop for the moment, with writing, so I am stepping back again and am reading loads. Now summer has finally arrived, I can take my book into the garden. 

Things have felt a little more normal, as I was part of a walking/singing event in the Surrey Downs last Sunday. It was terrific to sing with a bunch of others, learning harmonies. And yesterday I played badminton for the first time in about ten months. Only six of us can play, so there is a list. Someone dropped out and my name came up. I won't expect to play every week, but now and then is better than not playing at all, seeing as I've heard that racquet sports will not start again in the sports centre in September, where I play short tennis/badminton. Let's hope singing can start up again indoors by then. Fingers crossed.

Future plans

 

I've not blogger here for a long time. What have I been doing? Well, I've gradually been editing stories and I've been submitting. I've had a couple of things published - Visual Verse and Paragraph Planet last month - and I'm still submitting.

It is my intention to either revamp this website or move it to WordPress in the future. I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the changes Blogger is making, and in July those of you who follow by email will no longer be able to do that.

I have been feeling for a while that this site needs a shake up, (a bit like my writing!) but I am not yet ready to do it. For now, this website will continue, but I thought I'd like readers know that things will be changing.

Hot, hot, hot

Still Life - Pastel
Found this when having a clear out recently

 I don't know about you, but this heatwave we've been having in London has put pay to most things, and I've struggled to write anything.

I always tend to get up early, and right now it's the best time. I fling open the windows and the patio doors to let in what air there is. My son's pet rats have been suffering too. They are eating less, they lay mainly outside their houses, choosing the litter tray as one option to cool down! We feed them frozen cherries and the occasional dollop of plain dairy-free yogurt (rats are lactose intolerant). They are listless, but always run to see me when I come down in the morning. They know it's treat time!

Ever since I completed jogging one whole lap around the park (yes, I finally did it towards the end of July - it nearly killed me!) I have let my every-other-day jog slip to every two or three days. I've switched to bursts of fast running, which I realise I prefer. I have no goals now, and enjoy just being with nature in the park, and to try to keep fit. However, I've not run since Sunday, the longest break. The thought of dragging myself out in the heat is too much, even at 6.30am.

Writing has also taken a step back. If I can't get anything done by midday then it won't get done, and that goes for everything else! I agonise between sitting in the shade on the patio before the sun reaches me (about 11.30am) and writing. I could take the laptop outside, but it's easier to sit on the sofa with it. What I usually do is use the laptop early and come off it by 10am or so, earlier if I have to drag myself to the shops.

I can't function in temperatures above 30, and we've had that for the last six days. Our house is so hot. There is no one cool room. The other day we moved two patio chairs into the front garden because the sun had gone off from there, but it was still stiffling, plus we live at the end of a road where a busy bypass runs. My son took a reading of the noise level. It came out at an average of 60 decibels. Heat and noise - not a great combination.

I have, though, in the last few weeks, started a new project. I am attempting to write a Novel in Flash. The first attempt I liked, but I didn't feel quite worked. So, I embarked on a second. This one seems better. I did some research into novels in flash, and what I gleaned was that they consist of a series of short stand alone stories that are linked and form an arc of a novel. I've only read one example, which I felt was a bit disjointed, but I am having as go anyway, and really like what I've written.

I have also just started an online poetry course. This is the first week, so it's early days, but I have managed to produce a couple of new poems on this week's theme.

This morning when I came downstairs it was raining. I flung open the windows and let in that wonderful fresh smell. Now the sun is breaking through and temperature will rise, but I think the worst is over. Storms are forecast, and over the next few days temperatures will slowly recede. Maybe I can get some decent sleep, get out for a run, find my brain again!

Stay cool everyone!

Arty and musical diversions

I've been so busy in the last couple of days that I have barely watched the news, which I think is probably good for me. I seem to have set off into my own little world. I rise early. This is the second morning I've been up around 5.30am because the light wakes me. I come down for my first mug of tea and my son's pet rats are climbing up the cages for their treat of the morning. They are most often waiting for me! I chat to them - I'll talk to anything - flowers, trees, myself, and then, if it is not my morning for jogging, I read before coming on to my laptop. Maybe I will do my poem of the day or work on my novella before stopping for breakfast around 8-8.30am. After that I usually get dressed. If it's a shopping morning I go out into the crazy world of social distancing and shop where I can. Yesterday, I finally got into Waitrose and stocked up on my regular washing power (cruelty free) and such like. I also got into Wilco. It really was my day.

A slight diversion coming here. It has been difficult to keep up my pledges to ditch plastics since lockdown. Nearly everything comes covered in plastic and I've had to revert to using fabric softener because I have difficulty getting the large white vinegar bottles I've been using. Still, I have managed to stick to cruelty free versions at least, but I have ordered online for my washing up liquid from Natural Collection. I found they stock quite a range of food and since stocks at Holland & Barratt are dwindling I've ordered soya chunks and tins of braised Tofu. My son tried ordering from H&B's online store but both times only received part orders. It has been very disappointing. For us veggies and almost vegans it has been hard to source everything we need. The smaller local shops have little choice even in everyday stuff sometimes. So, I have had to make some compromises, but cruelty free products I will  not compromise on.

I have been binge watching art programmes including Grayson Perry's Art Club which is great fun. Last week he was talking about portraits and I did this one of Boris Johnson. I think drawing faces is the hardest thing, and it must be decades since I've attempted one. There was one tip that artist Maggie Hamblin offered about art in last night's programme - draw every day. Sounds like writer's advice. There are great similarities between art and writing, I feel.

Pencil and charcoal

Another project I have become involved with is a music one. An ex-musical director of the choir I sing with is forming a virtual choir for a mental health charity and was asking people to record themselves singing the song he posted up via YouTube and email it to him. He will then stitch all the parts together and the finished video will be posted on YouTube around the 18th May. So, a lot of Sunday afternoon I was upstairs in the bedroom learning the song (it only has four lines) and getting used to using the camera on my laptop (yes, I had to ask one of my kids to help me with that...oh the shame!). It took rather a lot of takes to get it right, but it is now with Ben and he is happy with it. When it appears on YouTube I will share it with you.

Still, on the subject of music, I have started an online course with FutureLearn about songwriting. Several years ago I took one with Coursera, but this one feels a lot different and I am enjoying it. I got so caught up in it that I completed the first week in one day. The theme this week is home/place. There are playlists, videos and advice. My first set of lyrics weren't that great, though I was pleased with the chorus. I decided to have a second attempt. I'd hoped to save the chorus but I ended up with something different. I'm more pleased with these as they offer a better nostalgic feel. I began my writing adventures as a young teen writing lyrics, so I am going back to my roots here.

And still more about music, watching Ben working with mixers and loops on his YouTube channel is making me itch to have a go, though I have no idea where to start. I've been looking at tutorials for Audacity, which I had on my old laptop for the Coursera course. Back in my day..oh eons ago...I devised my own way of recording two tracks by using my brother's cassette recorder for a first voice and guitar. Then I'd play the track through my stereo and harmonise with myself and sometimes add a basic rhythm using the body of my guitar (though I also had some drum tracks on cassette I would also use at times).  When I bought Dan Morgan's book on guitar it was this method he suggested. In those days mixing decks weren't widely available unless you worked in a studio and the internet and music software was a thing of the future.

You may be able to tell that I am a little excited by all this, but then I've always been fascinated by musical things. I enjoy watching musicians warm up, I want to know where the leads go and why, what they do. The equipment looks daunting but I would love to know how it all works. I know that if I'd been born later I'd have been into all this big time by now. Now, if I could just overcome my fear of Zoom!

Ollie

Rizzo

Satellites, flames and the aroma of art materials

Ah, the whiff of paper and charcoal

Some surprising things this week - the excitement of watching Starlink Satellites moving through the sky over our house one night, the aroma of new art materials, and finding a spark has ignited the flame in writing.

Yes, this is the week when we were to see meteor showers in the night sky. Well, never saw those (though a friend north of London says she saw them on Monday night), but the experience of seeing the Satellites was wired and awesome. They came over our roof top in a line, a tiny light each like high flying planes. They were spaced out in equal distance, and there were masses of them coming one by one moving at a steady pace. It was fascinating. My son tells me these are to do with the internet. I wonder if our signal was stronger as they came over our house! As for the meteor showers, I did spend a good deal of time looking for them to no avail, but Venus has been so bright these nights and seems closer. I'm no astronomer, so I have no idea if it is any closer.

Venus (taken with my mobile)

This morning my art supplies have arrived. Now that is exciting too. I had not noticed before (or have forgotten) the aroma of art material. Books, yes. I am a sniffer of books, a toucher of books. Books are seductive. But paper and charcoal? Well, yes. Mmm. With the good weather holding it might be a few days before I get down to any real art. My attempts at watercolour last week were laughable. Now with the right paper....well I'm not holding my breath. I seem to either produce something good or very, very bad. We shall have to see.

I made tentative connections with my novella and everything was painfully slow and painful to write. I felt nothing in particular. I tried working out next scenes in my head and lost a lot of sleep one night over it, but in the morning I reeled off over 2,000 words. When I read it back I was surprised to find I quite liked it, despite having changed the tense a few times and even the POV. But I could rectify that straightaway. I seem to have found a way forward, though no ending as such - I hope that will sort itself out in the same way as this part of the story unravels. But I noticed that I was excited by what I was writing and I've written something for the last three mornings. I am back to my mulling between writes. When that works and the ideas come then I can't get the words down fast enough. I'm trying not to think far ahead and writing for myself. This began as a dystopian story and I thought it was for adult readers, but now I'm wondering if it falls in with young adult as the main character is a thirteen year old boy. I do read young adult myself sometimes if the story appeals, like Seeker by William Nicholson and Half Bad by Sally Green. For now I just want to finish it and then maybe I'll be able to finish the other novella I started several years ago.

One sad thing happened at the weekend. The tree in the alleyway was butchered by the guys from the garage because the branches hung over their garage roof. Technically the tree probably doesn't belong to anyone, though my neighbour had a tree surgeon in a few years ago to cut it back as it was overhanging her garden and house so much. But she lives in South Korea and only comes home once a year. The garage guys just used a hacksaw and made a terrible job of it. I felt bereft as that tree, which I consider 'my tree' because its the first thing I see from my lounge window, brings me so much joy as I watch it change through the seasons. All kinds of birds visit it too. I thought they were going to cut the whole thing down but they have left some of it and I am grateful for that, though it looks how I feel.

What's left of 'my' tree

In my own garden I have installed a tiny fountain in my tiny pond. This pond is only an old pet carrier which arrived without a lid. The company just sent a complete one and never asked for the bottom bit back. I found a use for it. The pond became stagnant in my little wildlife garden. So I bought the fountain, cleaned the whole pond out and installed it. The only thing is that because the wind has been so strong the water gets blown over the grass and I filled it three times yesterday. The fountain is solar powdered and I have to move the panel around to catch the sun as where the pond is is rather shady. I moved the panel away from the sun yesterday while the wind remains strong and will try again.

So, that my week.

Living differently but still writing

Sunrise - taken through my lounge window over what I call the prison
(actually the back of Currys/PCWorld store!)

Now I have all this time on my hands I've had no excuse not to sort my poems out. Today has been productive and I have submitted poems to two pamphlet competitions. I made some last minute changes and edits (as you do) and now it is in the lap of the gods...of judges in this case.

I spent yesterday taking a few pictures in the garden, holding the spade and doing little else as my hubby and one of my sons planted out the seed potatoes. Well, I did do a bit of cutting back and pulling weeds. One has to show willing.

Shopping has become a nightmare and there is not a loo roll anywhere to had where I live. It wasn't that we needed them but we tried to get them for a vulnerable neighbour. He also asked for baked beans, pasta and eggs. None of those were about. We were able to get him the canned fruit he asked for. He isn't desperate for these items, and if necessary we can give him some bits from our supplies. People have cottoned on to the fact that smaller shops have supplies...or rather they did have on Monday. Now even their shelves are depleted. I think the supermarkets should have had restrictions earlier.

I've been doing a lot of reading and yesterday I dragged out my sketch pad and searched for something to copy. I ended up with a Picasso. I don't profess to be an artist, just someone who likes to have a go now and then. Here is the result. Now there is time to dabble I hope to do more.

My writing group leader is setting up a virtual writing class on Saturday through Google Hangout. I shall let you know how this goes. Hope my IT skills are up to it! These are positive things. Thank God for the internet. At least we can keep in touch with people and carry on with some of our interests and hobbies but in a new way.

I'm thinking about exercise. I shall miss my usual Friday morning racquet session. It's too tempting to stay on the sofa at home. I shall have to drag myself up and do something, either exercising to music or skipping. As long as we don't get a complete lockdown I can still walk around local parks.

Stay safe everyone.

How not to feel so alone

Although I have never met the Banksy of the poetry world, I feel we have a great deal in common. I realise I have posted one or two of his poems on Facebook without knowing much about him, but he seems to like being elusive. Who am I talking about? Brian Bilston.

I picked up a copy of his first novel in Foyles last week while killing some time before attending a concert at the Royal Festival Hall, and I began reading it the next evening. I just loved it. The humour is just my thing. Brian (the name of the character in the book...how much is auto-biographical?) belongs to a book club, a poetry group, is divorced from his wife, has a 16 year old son and lives in a road next door to a rather crazy lady and a bunch of students. Brian's new years resolution is to write a poem a day. That last part rings bells with me! Reading this book made me feel less alone in the world of writing.

Brian is jealous of Toby Salt who has a book of poetry published - poetry Brian can make no head nor tail of. When Toby goes missing Brian becomes of interest to the police. This is an hilarious journey through Brian's year (he never finishes the book club read, he falters on his one-a-day poems and he belongs to the 27th Club with his brother-in-law, a club to take themselves out of their comfort zone listening to obscure live music - they are the only members).

The poetry is funny and worryingly (or maybe not) some is very like mine. He does things like writes a poem in the form of a spreadsheet. I wrote one in the form of a Sudoku puzzle. He writes alternative words to pop songs....er...yes, I've done that! I just felt I knew this man.

There is a love interest, but the socially awkward Brian gets it wrong so much. On the back cover of the novel the Sunday Telegraph describe the book as 'the midlife answer to Adrian Mole'. I'd agree, but I was peeved because I once described my humorous novel to an agent as a cross between Adrian Mole and the Rose Project only to be told Adrian Mole is in the past, you need something modern. Pff! See, what do these people know? Now I'm sounding like Brian!

I did a little research and found that Brian Bilston's book of poetry is published by Unbound, a crowdfunding publisher. I seem to have become a bit of Brian Bilston groupie, but reading his book has really cheered me up. Recommended! Go read it!

My own efforts of one-a-day poetry is going well. I'm coming to the end of week 40! Some days it is a struggle to find subject matter, which is why I was so pleased to read that Helen Cox has a free download of 100 poetry prompts. They came at the right time for me.

I had a final email from Live Canon which also perked me up. They were so encouraging about my poetry and said such lovely things. Sometimes us struggling poets need to hear those words. As I said to my friends, it sometimes feel like I'm swimming in a stagnant pool and no one wants to fish me out.

The ghost story I wrote over Christmas was sent out and rejected within weeks, but I have submitted a few poems and I wait to hear on them. Meanwhile because my story output is about nil and I have no desire for them at the moment, yet I miss writing about something, I have finally taken WordPress by the horns to begin a new blog about my travels around London and beyond. Admittedly the horns were goring, and there was much hair pulling and Googling, until I finally realised that Gutenberg is the new Classic (the older style dashboard I was used to). I've stuck with it and now have a handful of posts and photos up there. This is filling writing need and draws on my love of being a tourist in my own country. I've even mastered (with a great deal of Googling) the art of wrapping text around a photo. I'm so proud of myself. It's not perfect, but this is for pleasure - mine, and hopefully my readers! Should you want to take a peak you'll find it here.

I shall now end as I started, with a tip of my hat to Brian Bilston and sharing with you this remarkable poem (!) I wrote this morning about a subject me and my veggie/vegan friends get rather annoyed about. If you are a veggie/vegan you will understand. If you are not, take note! (The poem still needs work!!!)

Plant Based Woe

The veggie section is always small
at parties and functions and barbecues,
yet meat eaters go and scoff it all
by the time we reach the front of the queue.

Why do they do that? It's not only me
who complains at the way they think it's their right
to eat pork pies and then if you please
the crudities, without a care for our plight.

I take my box of handmade delights
just to be sure my hunger is sated,
but they still crave my goodies, my bites,
as alternative cheese sandwiches are plated.

Oh no, I couldn't do without my meat,
they cry, snatching the last veggie spring roll,
so stick to your meat carnivores, hand off our treats,
and leave us the plain crisps in the bowl.

A sort out day

A bit of a strange day. It began with a parcel being delivered. My son, on shutting the front door, said that it was addressed to me but it had the wrong name (right surname, wrong first name). It was from a publisher (I'm not saying who) whose competition I entered but didn't make the shortlist. I decided to open the parcel to see if I could work out what this was about. There was no correspondence just three copies of the same book. Checking inside I found the name of the person the package was addressed to - she had a story published in it. I think this was her prize as a shortlisted contestant.

Is it wrong of me to be miffed? I know mistakes happen but this made me angry, perhaps because it's been such a bad year writing-wise, this kind of rubbed my nose in it. I've sent the publisher an email - I don't think I've quite calmed down. In fact I know I haven't!

Next, I've been searching for something I cut out of a magazine last year - a tip for a home made gift. It should have been with my cookery books, but I've been through everything and it's not there. I even had one of those plastic re-usable water bottles fall on my head as it was balancing on top of the books. That didn't improve my mood and I had a go at the boys about how many they'd accumulated and I had no where to keep them.

Finally, I have two shelves of books, files and writing stuff as well as part of the shelf on the sideboard. I went through all this and have actually thrown some old notebooks out as I am sure everything is on my computer. I need the space, and sometime I will have to go through stuff individually and throw more. At least it's tidier and sorted better. I've picked a few more notebooks to go through and see if I can throw those out. It would be great to keep everything, but I just don't have room.....and no room of my own to work in. I'm considering throwing a lot of my early stuff as I've moved on from that, besides I feel I'm gradually winding down from that manic sender-out of stories and poetry. I want to get on with other things., maybe dig out my art materials and play!

Tomorrow I switch into Christmas mode with Advent services to attend, singing events to take part in, meals to consume and present shopping. (I have actually got all my cards and most presents). The stereo will blast out the usual Christmas hits of years past, as well as carols - Enya's album And Winter Came will be first to be played! If my hubby ever moves his boxes we might even get a Christmas tree up! The course with Live Canon will finish next week and apart from my daily poem that's it for this year.  And this is it for my daily blog for November (yes, I did miss a few days). I hope you've found it interesting and fun. Thanks for reading. Hope to see you again sometime.

Creative crossovers

River Mersey, Liverpool

When I think about creativity and my own leanings there is so much crossover. I think words and pictures sums me up. I love taking photos and quite often they poetry in their own right. Images create words. My story ideas often come from dreams or things I see. I usually visualise my scenes before I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).

My preferences for photography are sky, water, shadows, reflections, sunrise, sunset and moon. I've been known to stop a conversation in mid flow to capture a passing cloud form. I've been found leaning out of the bathroom window in the middle of the night to get that moon shot. Often in the evenings I have one eye on the window to see what sort of sunset we are to have, and if it's good I'm in and out of house like a jack in the box.. I live in a built up area with light pollution so it's not always easy to avoid the light of an advertising hoarding and the bright beam that shines on the car repair forecourt. I will venture into the garden in the frost or snow still in my nightwear to get a shot that might disappear before I've got dressed and I love it on a warm summer evening to sit in the growing darkness in the hope of spotting the bats (yes, despite where I live there are bats).

My back garden is a tool for my photography and my poetry. Many an idea has been got from my window staring! There is a tree in the alleyway beyond next door that I watch it changing throughout the year (I call it my tree because I take photos of it so often). Then there are the birds, squirrels (even a rat once) and mice that frequent the garden. Not to mention the butterflies and bees. As a child I'd pick up worms in my hand without thinking. Getting muddy never bothered me (when did that change?). I kept woodlice in a box (outside, my mother would have gone crazy if I'd brought it in!). I studied ants as they moved their eggs when their home was disturbed. My brother and I even rescued two pigeons and kept them in my dad's shed until my mother got wind of it! So the love of animals has always been there. We had dogs when I was growing up. We also, over the years, had a budgie, hamsters and goldfish (that was a rescue one too!).

When my eldest son was young my parents bought him a hamster for his birthday. He was over the moon and still talks about it all these years later. I think it's good for kids to have contact with animals and we've had hamsters, fish, guinea pigs and now rats. Photographing animals and writing poems about them seems natural. They have features somewhere in my writing.

So here are a few photos of my favourite subjects.

Gravesend

St Mary's Church, Kingston

Kingston

Morden Hall Park

Bridge over the Wandle river

Taken from my back garden

Brighton, remains of west pier

Brighton

Spot the ball!

Squirrel in the garden

My tree (November)

Autumn from back garden (November)

This mouse discovered a slice of pizza we threw out. It dragged it to a hiding place
to devour it!

I can't quite claim this one. I couldn't focus properly.  My son took this.