Sharing the highs & lows with others + tips

 

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I'm having a catch-up on my magazines now I'm taking a break from writing (though I'm writing here, and do some form of writing every day, but you know what I mean). Two articles caught my eye, both in Writing Magazine. One was in the October issue and the second in the November issue. The first spoke about writers only talking about their successes and not their disappointments. Hey, have they met me? I've always written about the lows. I may have had a little success recently (big in my goal-setting), but it has taken me years for this, and I still remember how low I felt at one time. I almost quit. And the sad fact is that some writers never make it and/or quit writing.

I don't kid myself that now things will be easier. This is a high, a big one for me, but at some stage I have to go back to submitting my work and going through the whole rejection and lows again. What's different is that these days I don't let it get to me as I once did. Which brings me to the second article about how to survive the lows.

Basically, setting out as a writer, there is no way you can avoid the rejections and pain. We all go through it. I've even heard bestselling writers talk about crying over the phone to an agent who says the second book is not good enough. They struggle too. Life is tough as a writer.

Here are my tips on this aspect of writing from my own experience (some of this I've written about before):

• Submit several things and keep doing it. Don't sit around waiting to hear (sometimes you get no response at all). Keep working away, submitting and trying to forget about hearing back from anyone. That way you are not dwelling on the reply and eventually rejections won't hurt so much.
• After a rejection, mourn, have a tantrum, do whatever you need to for a day and then forget it. Look at the piece again. Can you do more edits to improve it? Then submit the piece elsewhere. The reason for rejection may not be down to your writing (which we all think is the reason). You have to remember how many submissions agents and magazines get.
• If you get a request to send more of your work after a rejection, do send them something else for the next open submission window. They may have liked your piece but have no room to publish it. A positive rejection is worth having and remembering.
• If you are lucky enough to have feedback on your work (rare, but it does happen, and some will give feedback at a price), take note of what is said and go back to the piece and see if you agree. They are usually right, even if at first you are so angry you want to throw your laptop through the window. It's happened to me! This is the way you learn.
• Nothing is ever wasted. Even a piece that doesn't quite work may do in something else. I rarely throw anything away, just in case. And do keep a note of where and when you send things. Some small presses don't mind multiple submissions, but I try to avoid that. I write everything down in a book as well as writing a card. The card is good because its easier to see where pieces have been sent before (so you don't send it back to the same place a few months later). Excel works for some people, but I hate it. Do what works for you.
• Celebrate each acceptance and when they build up, remember these when you are having months of rejections and feeling down. We are such a negative lot, us writers. It doesn't matter how many successes we have, it's the rejections we remember. But if you have been published, especially after a few times, your work has found the heart of someone who wants to publish you. That's a big thing.
• If you are lucky enough to have a book published, enjoy it, celebrate it. Now you have to go and write another one!
• Do talk about those lows, the difficulties you experience because it actually helps others. Writing is a lonely business, and we need to talk about the highs and low with other writer. They are the only ones who will understand. If you talk to non-writing friends you may get that devastating line, 'Well, it's only a hobby.' It maybe, depending on why you write, but for others it's a slap in the face.
• Do you have goals? Some people go all out with big, unrealistic goals that are doomed to fail. Once,  in the past, I set myself a goal of 'making it' in the five years I'd given myself. Ha! My advice, aim low, that way you are less likely to be disappointed, and any success is then a bonus. Example: For my first self-published book my goal was to sell 20 books. I sold about 22, so I was really pleased. For Tinsel Street my aim was to sell more than that book. Goal reached!

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My writing goals for this year were to publish two books, and I've done that. Leading up to those came years of writing, re-writing and editing, and in the case of the Lawnmower book, gathering work previously published over a number of years. I've not thought about goals for next year yet. After the year I've had it's too soon. I've had family illness and my cousin's estate to attend to while all this was going on. Talk about stress!

So, keep submitting. No submitting means no chances. Get your name out there one way or another. Choose smaller competitions if that's what you are drawn to. Big poetry competitions seem to be dominated by big-name poets. Try not to dwell on the negatives, and celebrate the positives and acceptances. Let everyone know. Get on social media and follow poets/writers you like. Even though X is toxic these days, I do find competitions and submission windows through them.

If you writing novels some of the above applies. We would all love to be traditionally published, but the more I read about it, the less I think it would be for me. That is a choice you have to make and another whole blog post! However, it's down to goals again and what you deem success.

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