Doing things, but not writing

It has been a tough month and I can't wait for it to go. I'm not a winter person, and what with lockdown I have been struggling. I have no motivation to write, though I have submitted a handful of pieces over January and February. A piece of flash fiction was published by Visual Verse in January, one of only two new pieces I've written this year.

I find concentration hard these days. I flit from one thing to another, but nothing holds me. Even reading has been a struggle, but maybe I chose the wrong book for my mood; I firmly believe in the right book at the right time. I find non-fiction works slightly better, and am reading a very interesting book called Square Haunting at the moment. The book by Francesca Wade, is set around Mecklenburgh Square in Bloomsbury and follows five women who struggled to be who they wanted to be - independent, and follow their own career paths. It features H.D. (Hilda Doolittle), Dorothy L Sayers, Jane Ellen Harrison, Eileen Power and Virginia Woolf, who all lived in the square, though not necessarily at the same time. There are appearances by others, men who were lovers and friends, including Ezra Pound and D H Lawrence. As a Bloomsbury group fan, this book widens my horizons in that era of art and literature that broke moulds.

I was intrigued by Robert Harris's book Second Sleep. A post-apocalyptical story of a young parson sent a village to sort out the affairs of the parish priest who had died. He finds amongst the priest's things banned books and items from the past deemed heretical. Before long the young parson is caught up in things that go against his teachings, but is drawn in bit by bit by curiosity. Well worth a read.

What I am reading now is a collection of small press magazines. Popshot and Dreamscape are magazines I subscribe to. I love the mix of short stories, flash and poetry. I've bought a one-off copy of Butcher's Dog to try it out. 

So, if I am not writing, what am I doing? Well, in January we had a new garden shed which is rather nice! It is to be a for multiple uses. Last year I worked on the garden more than I ever have in the past. This year I want to really begin to understand how to do it properly! I've been seed sowing already, though I've had to move them indoors because it has been bitterly cold even my new insulated shed! When the weather is warmer, it will be a space for me to work in too. I have two fold-up garden chairs there and a large fleece to wrap myself up in. There is even a solar light, and I have bought a solar/wind-up radio!

Walking still keeps me sane, and I go out when I can. My last walk was on a bitterly cold day. My fingers ached from the cold. I had to take my gloves off every time I took a photo. Taking photos is my other obsession. It always has been, but since the pandemic I've taken way many more than I would usually.

This morning I booked for my first Covid vaccine. Perhaps there is a small glimmer of hope back to a semi-normal life. Warm weather would also help. I long to be in the sunshine and feel its warmth again. Meanwhile I shall keep reading, walking and gardening when I can.

What I have in my bedside cupboard...

The cupboard - tidying in progress!

For someone who is not actively writing right now, I seem to be writing a lot about it!

Yesterday, in a dull moment, I decided to clear out, or least tidy, my bedside cabinet. I actually managed to put out some things, which is an achievement in itself. One of the things I keep in here are my old stories, hand written in exercise books. Every so often I get them out and flick through them. I'm never sure what to do with them. Perhaps I should edit them while putting them on computer. What I couldn't do is throw them. One of the exercise books is my first go at a sci-fi story. It even has my grandmother's writing in it when she corrected some of my spelling! My grandmother died when I was 21 so this story must have been written when I was in my teens.

The other exercise books cover one story - a love story between an older woman and a younger man. I have a feeling this didn't end well. It's a long time since I wrote it, but even then I was planning a sequel!

This got me thinking. Was this a first novel attempt? I'm not sure how many thousand words this would run to. I had a typewriter later on but I hated typing up manuscripts. Thank God for the computer because I was too darn lazy to type any stories up unless they were short stories!

The evidence - hand written stories.

I found another hand written story, a futuristic one (which if I don't publish it soon, will probably come true!) and ideas for another story which never got past the first chapter (something rather dark and disturbing!).

I gave up writing stories in my twenties. It's taken thirty years to get back to it. I'm not sure what that says, other than writing runs through me - however good or bad I write. I was writing songs in my head at ten and while looking back I realise I invented people, whole families in my head. I played out whole scenes - my own personal soap! None of that was written down but the story continued over years! Did anyone else do this?

Growing up in my era there was no daytime TV, computers and video games. We had to make our own entertainment. Obviously, I did. I invented my own Eurovision and Football League Tables (don't ask!). The stories in my head played out at night or when I woke, usually. Another time I invented a board game. I still have the cardboard, the cards and the rules up in a cupboard. I thought about getting it patented and trying to get it on the market! So, you can see my imagination runs riot at times. It certainly did when I was younger and I'm glad to see that my imagination has reactivated itself.

All this came out of looking in a cupboard and remembering where everything began. What is your story?

Oh and guess what else I found? An old Dream Diary. Bet you'd like to know what's in there. Sorry, it's highly classified!

Artists Rifles Poetry workshop

Artists Rifles Exhibition

I took a day off from the novel yesterday (I need some mulling time anyway) and set off down to Basingstoke in Hampshire for a day of art and poetry. I was there for the Artists Rifles exhibition at the Willis Museum and to attend a two hour poetry workshop based on the exhibition and run by Hampshire Poet Joan McGavin.

I arrived early so I had time to see the exhibition at my leisure. It wasn't a huge display but interesting. As well as paintings there were cases of uniforms, sketchbooks and other memorabilia as well as a seven minute video. This came at an interesting point - not longer after the study day I attended on WWI artists - so it was all still fresh in mine.

The afternoon took place in the Function Room covering the whole top floor of the museum. The ceiling was rather impressive - painted in what I call a Wedgwood blue, with cream cornices. The table we worked at was large, made of solid wood with a leather(?) inlay. Just right for us writers!

Joan was great - very relaxed and came armed with some clipboards and a sheet of questions. She asked us to go and look around the exhibition and pick one object, answer the questions and make notes. On our return Joan gave us another sheet with tips on writing and suggested we take one answer we'd given or a line we'd written to start our poem. After about twenty-five minutes it was that scary time of sharing! It was interesting to hear what others had written and which painting or object they had chosen.So many powerful images came out. I didn't think my efforts were very good and I'd not written a great deal but as I read it out I was more satisfied with my beginning. Joan gave feedback on our poems and made suggestions. We were then given a final sheet with suggestions on re-drafting our poems.

Our class was small - just five of us - but everyone had written poetry before and at least three of us had published poems. We all came away with something to work on and at £5 for the workshop it was amazing value.

This afternoon I completed a second draft of my poem so I'm getting there. What was lovely is that Joan offered to feedback on our final poems if we wished!

For those interested the exhibition runs until 27th September after which it moves to the Gosport Discovery Centre.

Poetry and Music at The Ram Jam Club

LiTTLe MACHiNe

Last night I went for a walk through poetry from Homer to Carol Ann Duffy care of the group LiTTLe MACHiNe at Rhythm& Muse at The Ram Jam Club in Kingston. The group, who set poetry to music, performed their show Epic in two sets.  We skipped through 3,000 years of poetry history in sixty minutes which included drama and comedy! Some highlights – an extract from Gilgamesh and Chaucer, Shakespeare, Byron, Shelley and the war poets (Seigfried Sasson and Wilfred Owen). They were brilliant performers, both in musicianship and personality.

The group tour around the country (do check out their website) the visual backdrop to their show includes pictures of the poets and the words to the poems.

Rachel Rose Reid

The evening was part of Kingston Connections Festival of Stories and included two poets from the floor as well as Rachel Rose Reid who is writer-in-residence at the Charles Dickens Museum in London   Rachel has performed stories and songs for Billy Bragg, Southbank Centre and the Royal Shakespeare Company. Last night she told stories from Africa, about Woody Guthrie and about London and Charles Dickens, somehow managing to slide between the old and new worlds. She has a lovely voice and recites her poetry and stories from memory. Rachel keeps you listening (and sometimes participating) because you did not want to miss a word. The stories were funny and poignant and she is an excellent performer, knowing how to instantly engage her audience.

The evening was brilliant – a combination of poetry, stories and music that stay with you on your way home.

(The Ram Jam Club is an intimate setting behind The Grey Horse Pub in Kingston.  Comfy seating, a glass of something from the bar and there you are, up personal with the performers – just how I like it.)

Being in the public domain

Some pretty flowers!

Spent some time yesterday sorting through poems that I could send to OU Poets for their next Workbook.  Did a little editing....one I changed the tense from past to present as it felt better that way. So this  morning I emailed three poems to them and included comments about my favourite poems from their last edition.

Writing a blog has been a work in progress and still is really.  I am not particularly IT savvy so I learn as I go along (a bit like writing in general).  My son (the genius!) is very helpful and very patient.  I often call on him when I get stuck.  He just clicks here and there, types in lightning speed (where did he learn such speed - I used to be a 70wpm girl!) and I say 'what did you just do?'  Often he says 'I've shown you this before!'  Yes, he has and I am sure that at the time I will remember next time but do I?  Anyway, I'm kinda getting off the point. What I was getting to is that since blogging I finally (and reluctantly) set up a Facebook page and now I'm uploading albums of photos and sharing with my small band of 'friends'.  That got me into other things and now I write reviews for Artfinder (just my views on a picture or an exhibition I've been to).  I am still very cautious about being out there in the public domain but it gives me more writing opportunities for fun.

It would be good to get feedback on my blogs, so if you read this one or one of my others do tick a box or just say a word or two to encourage me.