A consolation prize

Well, this is a strange one. Today I received a letter and a copy of the winter magazine from The Salopian Society. Although I hadn't won a prize in their poetry competition the editor (who thought my poem was winner, the the adjudicator didn't!) decided to award me a year's subscription to their magazine worth £15 as a consolation prize. Along with it is a members entry form for their next competition. Well, I'm pleased to know the editor liked my poem (it's one written as part of my one-a-day-for-a-year challenge), and at least I get to read some poetry free for a year. It would have been nice to be a winner though.

I spoke a few days back about the dental problems I was having and today is the first day I've felt a bit more me. I've had a horrendous week and have struggled to keep upbeat. I've been aware that from next week my Christmas diary really kicks in and mentally I've been working out what I might have to cancel, and as for a Christmassy feeling, well I can't comprehend it. This morning the sun came out and that perked me up. I went along to choir rehearsal because I needed to know which Christmas music was going to be performed and what harmonies/descants I would be doing (these aren't given on sound files like the rest of our music). To be honest the one thing I am desperate to do is to perform in our end of term concert on 11th December. All the rest can be ditched if need be. It was good to catch up with friends again, but I didn't give my voice it's full wellie today until we got near the end when we did two descants - one was O Come All Ye Faithful and the other Hark the Herald Angels Sing. I've grown up with these so was able, with a couple of others, to lead the rest of the sopranos. The latter has the highest notes and I think only one other person was singing it! It was a stretch for me today as I'm not at my best. But I did enjoy it. Even if only a few can sing the descant we'll stand out and amaze our audience (hopefully). We are a community choir after all, not a crack choral society.

This has been my best day since that awful dentist appointment and I'm hoping it continues. When I begin to get bored and start planning, when I start climbing walls and want to be out, that's when I know I'm on the mend. There has been a glimmer of that today.

Twenty questions

The Hive, Kew Gardens, 2015

Today I thought I'd do an either/or answer to ordinary questions. Just for fun. I apologise for the way this will probably be set out and hope its readable!

1. Tea or coffee?                        Tea
2. Wine or beer?                        Neither. I like long drinks with mixers - Pimms and Lemonade                                                     sort of thing.
3. Starter or dessert?                  Dessert
4. Book or Kindle?                    Book
5. Winter or spring?                  Spring
6. Summer or autumn?             Summer   
7. Comedy or horror?               Comedy
8. Boat of plane?                      Plane
9. Singing or dancing?             Singing
10. Phone or computer?             Computer
11. Ice cream or custard?           Custard
12. Weird or crazy?                    Both??
13. Sweet or salty?                     Sweet
14. Beach or sightseeing?           Sightseeing
15. Cat or dog?                            Dog
16. Countryside or city?             Countryside
17. Online shopping/in person?  In person
18. Pasta or pizza?                      Pasta
19. Digital watch or analogue?   Analogue 
20. Leather or lace?                    Neither

Poetry and music

I'm having a bit of a week of it really. I'm getting over a traumatic dental appointment on Tuesday afternoon which could have gone one of four ways (it was booked as a two hour appointment) but ended in an extraction (top back molar). I couldn't go to choir next day because of needing to rinse with salt water after meals and as I usually eat my lunch on the train so I can get to my art history class in time, that was out. I stayed home, ate here, rinsed and went to London for my class.

We also had a friend staying from Wednesday night until this morning. We don't have any spare rooms so quests have the sofa bed in our through lounge. However, I refused to cook that first night so we went out to our local Wetherspoons where there is not much chewing to do on a three bean chilli! I was starving by then, not having eaten much in 24 hours and I indulged in apple crumble and custard to make up for it. That night when I rinsed I had water coming out of my nose. So Thursday I had to go back to the dentist which meant cancelling my meet up with a friend. Everything was okay, a quick saline wash through and a dressing and I was out of there. I've been on painkillers since Tuesday and I'm not really back to my usual self yet.

Also my laptop is threatening to crash on me due to the cooling fan not working properly. I've got my techie son researching a replacement, which will mean an upgrade finally to Windows 10. I'm hoping he can find me a good Black Friday Deal. I have every confidence in him because he knows just what I need.

Yesterday I missed posting. By the time I thought about it I decided to leave it - I'd had enough of this week one way and another.

So, poetry......the friend who stayed brought some poetry he's written in the 1970's. He wasn't seeking to publish it, just wanted to show me. It reminded me of what I wrote (probably back in the 70's) when I first started writing. It all rhymed. I could see that he might have potential if he continued and did some workshops etc., but I know he doesn't write it now and he admitted he doesn't read poetry and struggles to finish a novel. However, he is creative in other ways. He draws and hand colours individual personalised birthday cards and creates a new Christmas card every year. We always look forward to these because they are also humorous.

I showed him the Ian McMillan poetry book I have which was quite an eye opener for him. He did enjoy the humour and took note of the title and might buy it. We always have interesting discussions about writing, though he's very old school and thinks there should be proper punctuation in poetry and stories should be Once upon a time and happy every after. He once entered a 50 word story competition and was very disappointed he didn't win because he felt he'd written an excellent proper story. He couldn't understand why the judge picked the one he did as the winner. Well, sometimes I still feel that way!

One of the things this friend asked was what is the difference between song lyrics and a poem. I said, not much. Song lyrics have a chorus, but poetry can have repeating lines or a refrain. A song, though, will often have a bridge, but verses usually rhyme and meter matters (well, mostly, because sometimes when signing a song you have to cram a lot of words in on some verses where others have fewer!). And that got me to thinking about poems that had been turned into songs. The obvious one for me (because I love it) is William Blake's Jerusalem. A lot of music is certainly influenced by poetry and then I found this about heavy metal and poetry https://www.loudersound.com/features/top-ten-metal-songs-based-on-poems There are other things you can find too if you search. I did once set a very early poem of my to music by adding a chorus. I should say now that I started out writing song lyrics and composing my own songs on guitar. I am not a great guitarist - songs have to fit the eight or ten chords I can play! I also don't really read music. I learn everything by ear. Anyway, to me lyric writing and poetry writing go hand in hand.

And to end here a cringe-worthy moment. I used to sometimes write songs with penpals. One pal and I were huge Beach Boys fans. My pal lived in South Africa. She sent me  some lyrics and I set the them to music. I did have to jiggle (edit) some lyrics to fit as her scansion was out at times but here you can even see the chords to the song  we wrote in 1981 entitled Down at Malibu (first page). Not quite Lennon and McCartney but it was fun to do.

Opening doors

Me with fellow students on presentation of our
Diocesan Certificate in Biblical & Theological Studies,
Southwark Cathedral, 2008

Have you noticed how one thing leads to another? In my fifties I took up learning again, and basically I haven't stopped since! Taking one short course with the Open University led to more until I took a first year degree course in Humanities. Doors to other interests then beckoned.

I left school at fifteen without any qualifications. To be honest I never enjoyed school and couldn't wait to get out. I was one of those kids who never seemed to fit in and, I always maintain, was a late developer. My childhood was very sheltered and that didn't help with making friends. I guess I turned inward. My only interest in school was sport, art and RE (Religious Studies). Already a pattern was forming. My brush with writing was a good one in primary school. My teacher told my parents I could write about anything. In secondary I was told people don't write like that. That dented my confidence and I then felt angry because I'd based my story on life with writer's imagination.  I never found my teachers particularly encouraging which further ate into my confidence. Let's just say that school haunted me for years to come.

Years later a work colleague described me as intelligent and I was floored. Me? Really? But it got me thinking. By then I was an avid reader and learning things for myself, but it wasn't until years after  I'd married and had two kids that my curiosity led me to the OU. It felt right to choose a course entitled Words and Music. I loved it. I'd never been taught like this before. I took other short courses until I plucked up the courage to take on a full year course in Humanities. I drooled over the books that came in the post and then panicked as I looked at what I'd be learning. There were tutorials to attend in London  which meant I had to participate in a class situation. That freaked me out. I was a sit at the back, don't speak person. Yet gradually I found myself making comments. It was like I was slowly flowering. That year I tackled things I thought I would hate like Medea (Greek play). I ended up going to see a performance on my own a few years later. It was a modern take and I adored it. Other subjects included art history, religion, philosophy (which I did hate and nearly gave up the whole course as it reduced me to a wreck!). We looked at architecture, more specifically the  Colosseum  in Rome.(I've still yet to visit it). We were advised to watch Gladiator, not a film I'd choose as I hate violent films, but I fell in love with it, and as for the music from it.....We also studied poetry and music. The assignments were tough. I'd never written one in my life before, though we had plenty of help with that. I didn't excel, no Distinction, but I did get a Pass. We had the choice of sitting the exam at the centre or at home. I chose home because I could relax there. We had strict time constraints, and I guess they trusted us. There were four choices in the exam - philosophy (no way!), art, poetry and music. I chose art and music and got my highest mark for music. I gained a Certificate in Humanities. This was a big achievement for me.

After that year I did consider going on and almost signed up to take a second year course in religion, but I wavered and did nothing. Instead I ended up studying for a Certificate in Biblical & Theological Studies with Southwark Cathedral. I'd never have had the courage to do that had I not studied with the OU first because I had assignments to write for that too, and yes I proudly got my Certificate and was presented with it at a special 'do' in the cathedral. This was my graduation.

Everything goes back to that OU course. I went on to take courses at Morley College in art history, music and poetry and online courses in Forensics (all branches), which I have loved. My science and maths is complete shit (sorry) but I love the subjects, stuff to do with the law interests me, and I took more art history courses. I found that certain people from the past follow me around and crop up in other studies, I guess because of certain eras I particularly like. I'd say anything from the 1800's onwards in art. People like Tom Paine, Darwin, William Morris and the whole pre-Raphaelite group and related artists and The Bloomsbury Group crop time and time again.

What does all this have to do with writing, you may ask. Well, I notice when I write art and music creep in somewhere. I use what I have learned, not necessarily on purpose. It just gets into my writing. I have written a few stories based on religious people (a vicar, a,n organist and a nun - sounds like the start of a joke there). One of the first stories I ever wrote when I was in my teens, the main character was a struggling artist! Food seems to feed in (sorry about the pun....no I'm not!) to some stories, and last year I became fascinated by the Frost Fairs in London back in the day. I've been doing some research on them, bought books set in those times and last December went with my hubby on a Thames Cruise to learn all about the time of Frost Fairs. I'd written one story that features a brief glimpse at one such fair, and it sparked the imagination, and now am considering a series which spans the past and the future. I do this for me really, no one else.

Learning has increased my confidence. I'm not the person I was. I still struggle with the whole confidence and social thing. I'm an extrovert trapped inside an introvert! That's how I often feel. But the learning thing? I do that because I want to know things. I'm basically nosy! It's never been about gaining a degree. I think it was about proving something to myself.

My latest read and the excitement of travel

I apologise if you were expecting a post yesterday. I did think about it (honest), but decided to have another laptop free Sunday. It's good for me! Instead I spent most of the day reading. I started a book called Slade House by David Mitchell. This one is the Book Club read which we will meet and discuss next month when we go out for our Christmas meal. I'll have long read it by then as yesterday I'd got through over half the book (it is only a small book) and have read more this morning and well expect to have it finished later! I am loving it!

This is the first of David Mitchell's books I've read, but I think I shall be coming back for more. It's so different - a ghost story. Every nine years a sort of porthole opens and a guest goes into the house. At first they don't want to leave, then they can't. I shall carry on reading at lunchtime as things are winding up to an end but I have no idea how this will happen.

My youngest son has gone off on his travels again today. Right now he's on a plane heading to Croatia and then he has a few days in Slovenia. He's become quite the traveller over the last few years and has been to more countries than me, though I do love travelling and get quite excited by a trip.

I love going out and about. Right now I have a list of art exhibitions I'd like to visit and a longer list of places in England, and some abroad. I'm always making plans, checking out hotels and things to do, looking at train timetables and thinking about when I can go. I love planning for day trips as much as for longer trips. And I enjoy writing and photographing my trips. I have another blog called piece of the attraction where I post about all this. Maybe my son gets his wanderlust from me. He's not the best communicator but he does use Instagram so I tell him to post a photo when he gets to wherever  he is going so I know he's okay. I love his photos. I'm not Facebook friends with him as I think he's entitled to not have his mother tut tutting about his posts, but I've caught him on Twitter a few times and seen other sides to him, especially his humour. He makes me laugh with his one line quips. I like to think he gets that from me too!

My older son is the computer and science nerd. He's my IT man! He can be obsessive like me, and stubborn. He once had a thing about wearing suits with waistcoats and wanted a pocket watch! He likes hats is an animal lover and thinks deeply about stuff. We have long conversations sometimes. He's a bit of a loner and like me is a Trekkie fan. They are very different, the boys, but I see bits of me and my husband in both of them, and I love them to bits. Now at 30 and 27 they still surprise me.

I'll finish here with a few photos. Have a great day all.

Me in my late teens

My youngest as a child
(sorry for the quality, photo of a photo)

My life in black and white (2)

Sorry, this is a bit of a cop-out but my brother is due to arrive any minute now for the day and I have a meal to cook. Later I'm going with my son to see two rescue rats as potential companions for Rizzo. A full day! So here is another of my photos. Hopefully, I'll have time to chat tomorrow.

My life in black and white (1)

I've been playing this little game on Facebook that a friend started - to upload ten black and white photos (one a day) that represents your life. There are no people in the photos, no explanations and, unlike most of these games, no nominations. If others want to join in they can.

As I am very short on time today I thought I put one of these photos here. I may use the others if I run short of ideas during this month of blogging! Have a lovely day everyone. The sun is out and there's blue sky. Such a shame I'll be stuck inside most of the day.

A day in the life of......

The how-to and ideas articles

Despite what my friends think I don't stay all day on Facebook, though the tab is up most of the time I'm writing. I like to dip in and out of social media as a break from pounding the keyboard.

My writing day can start as early at 6am and I will write until between 9am and 10.30am depending on what I'm doing that day. If I'm really disciplined I'll get straight on with the writing and not open up social media until I've done what I wanted. Some days I do get waylaid and answer emails and re-tweet stuff before I get going. It happens.

Snippets for research, interesting books, magazine follow-ups

And it's not just the writing. My day is taken up with other related stuff. I have a file where I keep things I need, and this has to be maintained and updated from time to time. In this file are articles I've cut from writing magazines - the how-to stuff, lists of literary festivals and competitions which I go through every so often. And I fill plastic wallets with snippets of books that interest me and I might buy, research, useful websites and another wallet for magazines and competitions that I'm interested in and who might like my work.

I spend time following up on these, looking at websites, seeing who they publish, read poems and
stories. Would my work fit in with what they publish? I take note of submission windows, sign up for their newsletters, maybe buy a copy of their magazine to get a better feel for them. I might hold some work back to wait for the right window. Bearing in mind that some magazines/publishers take between several weeks and several months to come back to you it can be a long process and ties up your work for that length of time, because you cannot send that piece anywhere else. It is not the done thing.

I am getting better at recycling my work. When I get a rejection I search for somewhere else to send it. I might look at the piece again and see if another edit will improve things before I re-submit.

Competitions to enter

I also spend a lot of time reading - writing mags, poetry books, stuff for research and for pure pleasure. I find I watch TV and read more as a writer now. I'm taking in how everything works. I know my strengths and am still working on the weaknesses.

Then there are the readings, festivals, workshops and courses that I indulge in from time to time and my blogs to update.

I know I am lucky because I do not have a job outside the home anymore and I work my writing around the other things I do. I am able, on some days, to work all day if I want, and I have. I don't have a set day off. I work weekends and Bank Holidays. However, I do have to get time out now and then. When I'm writing a novel the further in I get the more I identify with my characters. I begin to feel what they do. They are very real people and often their moods affect me. The darker the stuff I write the more I need a break. That's when I escape to London, take in an exhibition or just walk. I'm lucky that I have hobbies that take me out of myself, though I admit the mind is always working away at something. I play sport, I walk, I sing. I love taking photos. I enjoy art and music and of course reading. A good book takes me to someone else's world.

Even with these distractions it can still be hard to switch off completely. The other day I nearly missed my bus stop because my head was in a flash fiction idea! I stand at Waterloo station and can't remember how I get to a certain place, though I've been there before loads of times. I thought I was losing my mind one time. I had to calm down and go through it logically. Well, I hope it was just my mind being elsewhere and nothing worse!

I often wonder why it's taken me so long to realise this is what I wanted to do with my life. But actually I think I've always known. It's just that now is the right time. I have all those years of life skills and experience to fall back on, stuff that comes into my writing a lot now. I couldn't have written what I'm writing at present back then. I like to think of those years and my gathering years!

Now that looks like a cracking good book to add to research!

There is one more thing I want to say in this post. Writing is like a muscle. You have to use it. Before I wrote regularly I couldn't find ideas, especially for stories. I wondered how people managed it, you know, writing one short story after another. I'm not saying I'm overflowing with ideas but they do come now. The more you write the better you get at it. It feels natural, like a job. And now to me it is a job (unpaid as yet, but who knows!). You just go to your computer, laptop or pad of paper and write. This is what I do and I love it!

Finally look on Paragraph Planet on 27th October. I have another 75 word piece of flash fiction being published!