There was a time I thought I'd never get beyond my first goal and then there would be several breakthroughs over a the period of a week. Now all that stands between me and a whole lap of the park without stopping is one stop/walk. Having only achieved my lastest goal yesterday, that might be a while coming, but I know it is coming.
Some days I have to drag myself out, some days I feel knackered before I get to my first original goal, some days I start off too fast and pay for it. What I do know is this - mind plays an important part, kicking those negative thoughts. Often I push on when I want to stop. I tell myself it's mind over matter and I can do this. And I do.
I only wish I could do this when it comes to writing! Maybe I feel I have more control over my running. I make the rules and set the goals. With writing others make the choice, set the goals, and the only control I have is in the writing. With only two poem submissions I'm waiting on, I feel I am now at a crossroads. I wonder if having a mentor would help. I really gained confidence when I took part in the climate change course with Live Canon. The feedback was so helpful. While I have been called a good poet, does that mean average? I still get 'not quite our thing', certain praise, but sorry from magazines. I have been trying to reach this other level, as I call it, for a long time now. I feel my poetry has improved, but everything has to be outstanding to get anywhere these days. There are so many poets competing for a slot in magazines, and I realise that some editors have their own preferences. I read magazines to try and get the best fit, and I disregard many because I know my poetry won't fit. So I do take the trouble to seek out publications I see myself fitting in with. So, I wonder, would having a mentor help me get to the next level? Mentoring costs a lot of money, and I know it's not a guarantee of publication, but it might give me more of a chance.
I'd welcome opinions here. Has anyone else used a mentor for poetry? What were your experiences? Any recommendations? I'd really welcome some input before I make a decision. The other thing I have thought about is self-publishing, but here my anxieties kick in again. I'm terrified of making a complete hash of it and a pamphlet looking amateurish, and that other anxiety, no one will be interested. I'd love to hear from you.
