The struggle to write and other things

 As I've said before I don't really believe in writer's block, but maybe this feels close to what it might feel like. However, my feelings for writing at the moment is more that I don't want to write and feel guilty for the weakness that I feel in my lack of confidence to do so. Has that happened to you?

The stupid thing is that I have a track record. I have many works published, so I can't fall back on that one. But confidence is a weird thing. It can make you feel euphoric one day and totally depressed another. I'm in the latter phase right now, yet I am trying to push against it. My friends from the two writing groups I belong to help, and I continue to show up.

I have to say that this year has been a particularly stressful one in other areas of my life, and maybe this has also impacted on my writing. Then there were the summer heatwaves when it was too hot to write. I have struggled at writing groups and barely written anything, but at least I've shown up. And though it sounds as if I have been doing nothing on the writing front, I have, so maybe I'm just being hard on myself. This is what I have been doing since I last blogged.

Two open mic events. One was at Whitehall House in Cheam Village, where I read two poems. We sat in the garden, which was lovely, though the gathering clouds looked ominous. Whitehall House is a Tudor building and just beautiful. I have been there a few times, once for a poetry event earlier this year. The event is seasonal, and run by a local poet, so the next one will be sometime in the New Year.

Whitehall House

The garden

The second open mic was yesterday at Morden Library, where Sutton Writers came together with another writing group to read prose and poetry for Libraries week. I read one poem. Our work will be displayed in the library for all to read!

My novella entitled The Holding Bay is out on submission to four indie publishers. Some state they will reply in two months, and one in six months.

I've still been firing off the occasional submission for poetry and flash to indie magazines or competitions.

The second print run of Tinsel Street has happened. Ten of the books have been bought by the biggest Swiss bookshop, Stauffacher Bookstore, for their English floor. They sold my books last year within days, so have bought an extra supply this year (photos by my friend Regine who works there).

I completed the first draft of the second Tinsel Street book a few months ago. I wrote it quickly and loved being back with my characters again with new stories. Now comes the feedback and editing (the harder part for me). A couple of people have read my manuscript, and feedback is good. I hope to edit again (third draft) in the near future once I have received the final feedback. And then I will seek an editor. The aim is to get the book out later next year.

So while I have been struggling to get things done, I have actually been sporadically active. At some point, my enthusiasm for writing will return, something I have learned over the years. Until then, I will keep showing up.

Anyway, last weekend a friend had a spare ticket to a Wimbledon Bookfest event. Robert Harris has written 17 books, of which I have read three - Pompeii, The Second Sleep, and Conclave. So it was nice to hear him speak about his new book Agrippa, and of his writing process. He was amusing and interesting. It has made me think about reading more of his books, especially his latest (when it comes out in paperback!). I've not been to any Bookfest event in a couple of years as the cost of tickets has soared. I regularly used to attend between two and four.

For some reason, I never had a video of my book reveal when Tinsel Street was published last year, so I asked my son to do one for the second print run. Not quite as exciting as the first time, but opening a box of your books is the best feeling.