Having a bit of a panic. Okay, quite a major one. I looked at the first chapter of my first novel today and am now thinking - do I have time to re-write it? I wonder if it's because I've read it so many times that I'm over familiar with it. Yet, there's other bits I still love to read.
I have borrowed a book from the library entitled Beginnings, Middles & Ends by Nancy Kress. I am finding it very useful and am currently reading through the second chapter. My first scene, I think, fits the criteria mentioned. My second scene, I'm not so sure about and this is the bit I think I might try and work on, My first chapter is very short (it is the first chapter I have to submit in advance of the Winchester Writer's Festival for my one-to-one). I wonder if my chapter break is right. Is my first chapter enough? All these things are going through my head. Then I decided that the likelihood of my novel being picked up by this agent are pretty slim (confidence going down), so perhaps I should just use this experience for the feedback I will get. This, after all, is the first full length novel I have written. The more you write the better you become - hopefully. People frequently write several novels before one makes it.
Meanwhile, I have been working on the synopsis and the covering letter. I think both are about there, or the best I can achieve for a first time. I know I'm not alone in these feelings, but sometimes it feels like it. The sad fact is that I put a lot of my thoughts here because I have to have somewhere to sound off. I'm sure my family and my friends are sick of me going on about 'things of the writing persuasion'. Unless you write you cannot understand the high and lows, how you beat yourself up about things and convince yourself that you deserve to be in the slush pile.
Moan over for today! I'll take another look at my first chapter. I really want to get my submissions in next week. I've barely thought about the poem I will submit for my other one-to-one. Still, after all this, sending a poem will be doddle. Or will it?!