This is what I'm doing

I have been obsessively writing over the last two weeks. I have gone back to an earlier project and aim to finish it by the end of summer, hopefully. More on that at a future time.

This lunchtime I actually wrote a short poem. It's been some time since I did that as poetry has taken a back seat lately. It's just a wee little thing:

Untitled

I seek the light place
where sun streams,
warming skin,
bringing life to flesh and bone.
Blood bubbles and flows
as I unravel, stretch like a cat,
settle like a lizard, heating up.


I have subscribed to two magazines to get an insight into what is being written and published in the small press, getting to know new writers. Bare Fiction is one, Brittle Star is the other. I have to admit that to save money I opted for the online version of Bare Fiction. This could be a mistake as I tend to forget about them and find the next issue comes along and I've not read the last. I much prefer something to hold and take with me, to snuggle up with. But I must make the effort.

Brittle Star arrived this morning. I love it's size. I could stick it in my handbag. I've already started reading it. It contains fiction, poetry and articles and I like what I see.

I've subscribed to a couple of blogs too, but the biggest thing I've done lately is to book a place at the Winchester Writer's Festival in June. I've wanted to go along for years, but it is only in the last year that I have started writing fiction again, so it didn't seem worth it before. There was little for poets. Of course in September was the fantastic inaugural Winchester Poetry Festival which I attended. I'm pleased to say that is back for this year. Anyway, I decided that this was the year to try the Writer's Festival. Am I ready, I ask myself. Hopefully. I've booked two workshops and a full programme of talks. I have also taken the step of booking two one-to-ones (very scary). The first is with an agent, the second with a poet. I am now frantically putting together a synopsis for my first novel (still in editing mode) and a covering letter. I've had to research both as I've never done them before. These things have to be submitted before the festival. I also have to submit a poem in advance. All this is new to me and I am, to say the least, very nervous.

If you are going to the festival too, let me know.

Finally, I have found a competition for my piece of writing that has so far fallen between the categories, due to its word count. The Penny Dreadful is running a Novella competition (open for entries on 1st June). I shall be submitting!

See you next time.

Another one of those days

Had my usual problem this morning when trying to submit a competition entry - I went to pay and was told my card provider had not authorized the payment. Do they see me coming or what? My heart sunk. I'd already submitted the story and PayPal was the only option for payment.

Panicking (I should be used to this by now as I've had the lot from internet crashes to the 'non-payment' message mid submission) I called PayPal, after I'd checked my card was still valid and trawled around their site to see if it was something I'd done. No, it was my credit card company. So I had to phone them. Both these calls had stupid non-human messages like 'say in a few words what you are calling about'. My requests were not recognised! By this time I was growing angry and as there was no actual person on the line, quite abusive! On ringing my credit card company I gave up and just said something they would understand and hoped they could transfer me if necessary. Luckily, I seemed to be through to the right department. They insisted there was nothing wrong - huh? Well, why were they refusing payment? They looked again. They said PayPal had a 'no pounds' transaction. What? I was supposed to be paying £8. I had light-bulb moment and said I'd probably been timed out of the transaction because I'd been stuck in the system so long. I made them wait while I found the website which then directed me once more to PayPal and I signed in. This time when I pressed 'pay' it went through.

I said to the lady - I don't know what you did but thank you. She stayed annoying calm throughout the whole thing and when I said goodbye she said to keep smiling! I said I'd try. I was exhausted after that. I think I deserve to win the competition after all the hassle and if I don't, I'll want to know why!

Just sending out stories is nerve wracking enough. It's difficult to find a competition that accepts longer stories (I must learn to write to certain lengths!). This one of mine is just over 9,000 words and the limit is 10,000. I was so excited to find somewhere to submit to and the story was ready to go, apart from a title. I've mulled over a title for three days before I found one I was happy with. Titles for stories are as difficult as finding title for poems.

While all this was going on with PayPal and my credit card company, the guinea pigs were having a set-to in the cage behind me and I even shouted at them. I immediately felt guilty because one of them only had an operation yesterday and I'd had the job of medicating her earlier, which is always a bit of trial. She must be feeling better to argue with her cage-mate, which she often does.

I need calm. I need music. Which is why I'm plugged into a Trance mix on YouTube right now still trying to find my sanity! Thank God for music.

Writing for pleasure

All this sunny weather has given me inspiration to write a little poetry. I began writing a couple of poems about a certain part of my garden. Over the days I have been adding to it and now have a sequence of five poems. I rather like them. I even like the title, and for once I didn't have to struggle for ages over the choice.

For the moment I've stopped submitting to competitions and magazines. I've become disillusioned with it all. For now, I'm writing for pleasure with no thought about anything else. I have no plans and that is rather refreshing. I'm sure I'll come back to that side of things some time. I am, as they say. going with the flow and just enjoying writing what I want, when I want. All the rejection slips have rather taken the pleasure out of writing lately and I need to step back for a while.

A nice post by the poet Jo Bell. Do check it out:
https://belljarblog.wordpress.com/2015/04/05/kith/

What I have in my bedside cupboard...

The cupboard - tidying in progress!

For someone who is not actively writing right now, I seem to be writing a lot about it!

Yesterday, in a dull moment, I decided to clear out, or least tidy, my bedside cabinet. I actually managed to put out some things, which is an achievement in itself. One of the things I keep in here are my old stories, hand written in exercise books. Every so often I get them out and flick through them. I'm never sure what to do with them. Perhaps I should edit them while putting them on computer. What I couldn't do is throw them. One of the exercise books is my first go at a sci-fi story. It even has my grandmother's writing in it when she corrected some of my spelling! My grandmother died when I was 21 so this story must have been written when I was in my teens.

The other exercise books cover one story - a love story between an older woman and a younger man. I have a feeling this didn't end well. It's a long time since I wrote it, but even then I was planning a sequel!

This got me thinking. Was this a first novel attempt? I'm not sure how many thousand words this would run to. I had a typewriter later on but I hated typing up manuscripts. Thank God for the computer because I was too darn lazy to type any stories up unless they were short stories!

The evidence - hand written stories.

I found another hand written story, a futuristic one (which if I don't publish it soon, will probably come true!) and ideas for another story which never got past the first chapter (something rather dark and disturbing!).

I gave up writing stories in my twenties. It's taken thirty years to get back to it. I'm not sure what that says, other than writing runs through me - however good or bad I write. I was writing songs in my head at ten and while looking back I realise I invented people, whole families in my head. I played out whole scenes - my own personal soap! None of that was written down but the story continued over years! Did anyone else do this?

Growing up in my era there was no daytime TV, computers and video games. We had to make our own entertainment. Obviously, I did. I invented my own Eurovision and Football League Tables (don't ask!). The stories in my head played out at night or when I woke, usually. Another time I invented a board game. I still have the cardboard, the cards and the rules up in a cupboard. I thought about getting it patented and trying to get it on the market! So, you can see my imagination runs riot at times. It certainly did when I was younger and I'm glad to see that my imagination has reactivated itself.

All this came out of looking in a cupboard and remembering where everything began. What is your story?

Oh and guess what else I found? An old Dream Diary. Bet you'd like to know what's in there. Sorry, it's highly classified!

A poem about mice

Just to amuse myself I wrote this poem this morning. It's based on something that happened a few years ago.

Catching Mice

Seconds after lights out,

I hear the trap drop.

The buggers are in!

I creep downstairs,

pick up the long grey

plastic trap, feel the weight,

feel the movement.

I open the pet carrier,

empty the trap.

So fast, so small.

I shut the lid.

Settle, I say,

I’ve left you food.

The mouse looks back.

Our eyes meet. It knows.

By morning there are three

in the carrier. I ignore them,

but they need not plead,

they already have my measure.

I walk to the wasteland,

open the lid, set them free.

They scuttle through grass

and brambles. No thanks.

No looking back.

At least they are together.

Next day

I have caught

one lonely mouse.

I take it to the waste ground,

my soppy, worn heart strings

plucked by a rodent;

my sorrow dwells

on the aloneness

of this tiny furry being.

I wish it well.

My husband seals up the hole

in the kitchen,

no more little night entries,

no dropping door

as blackness fills the house.

I think of the wasteland

and wonder if mice have GPS.

Not writing but...........

How strange. I finished the third edit of the novel on Sunday and I haven't wanted to write since then. I have no desire to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard (except to blog and annoy people on Facebook!). Instead I thought - I have time to do other things. I need some distance from the novel as I did edits two and three back to back. That wasn't intended, it just happened that way. Now I need to let things settle for a while.

Yesterday, I heard that one of my poems has been selected by OU Poets for their next Anthology (poems are voted for by members). That is the only light in my submissions book. Everything else so far has been rejected.

One completed page

So, what have I been doing instead? Well, reading a lot. I have two books on the go, though that's nothing unusual. I have also taken to colouring. I bought the magazine Art Therapy as a one-off (not getting into that year on, never ending cycle of magazines as I've done in the past). It has several pages of designs ready to colour how you like. It is indeed therapy. It's a great stress buster. Of course, it takes me back to childhood - those days when as I was ill in bed and mum bought me colouring books and dot-to-dots. I loved them! When I worked for Solicitors and had to photocopy house deeds, I loved colouring in the plans, different colours for the house, rights of way and sometimes something bigger with more colours. I was in my element, keeping within the lines and making it a work to be proud of.

I was talking about colouring to  my son and he told me that a friend of his was also keen to colour and said that the art shop Cass Art sell adult colouring books. Oh boy! We have such a shop in the next town, so at some stage I must go and look.

One in progress

I've always felt that as adults we miss out on fun after childhood. I am, of course, the eternal child - I am a Gemini! It seems so unfair that at fourteen you are no longer allowed on the swings! Having kids (well, young ones) was my licence to abuse that! The kids are grown up now and I will probably be in my 70's or 80's before I get grandchildren the way things are going, so I've set my sights on one of those motor scooters for when I can no longer walk.

My younger son is shortly going off with friends to an adult play centre. My ears pricked up. I believe that it is similar to a soft play area but for grown ups. Of course, with this there is drink involved (I can do without that) and you can stay there all night. I rather envy him. Whoever came up with this idea gets my vote. Why should kids have all the fun!

Rather different, I am taking part in two online courses with Coursera. One is entitled Plagues, Witches and War. It is basically a course about historical fiction, what it actually is and how authors go about writing believable historical eras in fiction novels. Because there is no deadline with this course, I can dip in and out as I am able. There are 11 modules and I have completed four so far. We have looked at mainly older historical fiction by authors such as Walter Scott, Cooper and William W Brown as well as Dickens. There are interviews with modern writers too, though none of them I know. One is Jane Alison who wrote The Love Artist based on Ovid. I enjoyed hearing what she had to say about the way she works, where ideas, moods come from. Although historical fiction is not my genre I have found that I am drawn to perhaps read some of these books and I find the background information very interesting. I've got better in my note taking (so on the second review I passed first time - you get three goes). I try to do a little every week and I have to say it is broadening my horizons.

The other online course is also with Coursera and I signed up on the day it started after thinking about it for a week. I wondered if I would have time to take part as this one is run over five weeks, and has deadlines. The course is entitled Miracles of Human Language: An Introduction to Linguistics. I am completely hooked! I was on there first thing this morning watching videos and reading follow-up resources. I already have seven pages of notes. The subject is fascinating. I had no idea I would be so caught up in this. I found one thing which might be of interest to writers and that is a book - Historical Thesaurus (I think from Oxford Books). You can look up to see how people spoke in different eras. The professor on the video was saying that in Downton Abbey there are some sayings used which were not around at that time, though on the whole they've got it right. I might just have to look out this book, just for the interest value.

These online courses are free and well put together. The only thing I don't like are the forums because there are thousands of people taking part and you get lost in the system. I''m never sure how you follow up with comments. I killed off following 'rooms' because my Inbox was inundated with messages. But I am quite happy to just take part and learn what I can. Some courses come with a Certificate of Achievement (free) and others you can pay for a Validation if you want.

So, that's what I'm doing right now. If things are a little quiet on this blog, you will know why. However, I may be over on my other blog, so do drop by.

Happy writing....or anything else you may be doing!