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Saturday 30 March 2013

Rejection, rejections

Just been checking up on sites to see who won various competitions that I entered.  Don't know why I did it because if I'd even got a mention they'd have emailed me.  So I'm sulking and wondering why I bother, all those usual negative emotions that come from rejection.  I read one winning entry and I thought why?  What was SO brilliant about it because to me it was not outstanding in any way, nothing to make me want to read it again.  Surely there were better poems even if it wasn't mine?

Well, I think I'm giving up on competitions for now and will try my luck back plodding round the small press magazine circle - if I can pull myself out of my hole of depression!  O woe is me!!

Areopagus did print a line from my competition entry.  The aim was to write a Psalm (Areopagus is a Christian Writers magazine).  At least I got a mention.  Good old Areopagus, my faithful friends!

I'm now going to depart (not literally) and go and lie down in a darkened room to brood, swear and cry.
Oh, by the way HAPPY EASTER and look the sun is out!


Tuesday 26 March 2013

Writing time and the next move

Winter View

Not having been very productive in my writing lately I took myself off to a cafĂ© to write this morning.  I took with me Writing Poetry by W.N. Herbert and my writing pad.  I ordered a hot chocolate and found a table by the window (the comfy sofa was already occupied….drat!).  I began reading the last chapter of the book which is all about theme and looking at the poems we write and see if there is any pattern forming.  This is good way to look at poems when thinking about putting a collection together.  There were some writing exercises which I managed to do too while out.  In all I spent about an hour on this chapter (still more to do).  I was able to switch off from others chat and concentrate on reading and writing.  I felt I had accomplished something as well as it proving useful for further writing.

I have thought about the themes I write which include nature, relationships (which has many sub categories), the dark side of life and religious writing.  I now have a list of ideas for poems on the relationship theme which perhaps I had not considered before.  Getting ideas is always difficult.  Those ‘bolts from the blue’ poems that seem to write themselves come so infrequently and having a list will help.  Anything that makes me put pen to paper has to be good.  We all need a little shove to keep us on track.

Sometimes poetry competitions (or indeed story competitions) have themes.  Sometimes I have a poem that fits the theme but often I am stuck.  As the deadline looms I may have a ‘light bulb moment’ but not always and then when I read what others have written I think, ‘yes, now why didn’t I think of that?’  If I can’t find a way into a theme then that’s it.

Now I need to think about what I am doing next with my writing.  Instead of blogging I should be sending out poems!  And that I guess is my next move.  I need to look at different magazines and see which ones I feel my poetry fits into and send something.  Now I have a little more time I am gradually catching up with a backlog of magazines, including writing magazines and poetry magazines.  I am beginning to re-connect with my writing.  It will be all too easy to just drift now I have time but I know I must make some effort and some decisions as my output this year has been somewhat poor (though I do have a good excuse as I have allowed myself some time to pursue some other interests).  The main aim is to claim back some writing time in my week!

Sunday 24 March 2013

Winter 'small stone' poem

My poem for Issue 8 of What the Dickens? magazine has just been published.  You can view it online at http://ow.ly/jmGxH  (page 29)

The magazine is taking a break now so I will have to look for some new outlets for my poetry.

Just put this poem on to the Small Stone Facebook Page - haven't put much there lately :(
It's getting lots of 'likes':


Winter, when will you shake off your white coat,
unravel with the north wind, change direction
and depart from these shores?
Where are the colours to give us hope,
the sun’s re-birth in these lengthening days?
All hovers on the cusp - the going out and the coming in,
such is the shifting tide of nature.


Thursday 21 March 2013

The long poem and books

It seems a while since I was here but I'm still chugging along.  I have in fact been writing some poetry in the last few days.  You remember that earlier in the year I discussed the possibility of writing a long poem?  Well, today I have managed a poem that goes over the page!  In fact the last few poems I have written have been longer than what I usually write.  So far they exist just on paper, have had some quick edits and will make it onto the computer soon now.

I was feeling really low yesterday for some reason so I took myself out and did the rounds of the charity shops and came home with four books - two by Susan Hill, one by Kate Atkinson and Sadie Jones's The Outcasts.  My stack of fiction has depleted so a good excuse to seek out some new ones.  Last week I also bought two books in a 'buy one get one half price' deal.  Dear oh dear, where will it end?

At present I'm reading Helen Dunmore's Talking to the Dead which has become quite sinister.  I'm nearing the end and it's picking up speed so I'm reading at every opportunity.  I shall take it with me when I go up to London later.  I have my last art history class and I can read the book on the train or when I have dinner. I  have decided to have one last meal at Morley College especially as a few of us are going out for a drink after class. We did this last week after the class met at the National Portrait Gallery and it was nice to get to know people better.  I think we should do it after the first class as it would break the ice and we would all be more relaxed.  Our tutor came with us last week too.

Thursday 14 March 2013

Mourning in error!

Had an email this morning with the names of winners, highly commended etc. for a competition.  Not seeing my name there disappointment set in.  Then I realised......I never entered this competition!  I'm still laughing............


Sunday 10 March 2013

A different kind of writing

I was asked in January by my vicar to 'preach' on Mothering Sunday (today).  I should explain that I am Branch Leader of Mothers' Union at my church and this was the opportunity to talk about what we do in the UK and worldwide.  However, this was something so far out of my comfort zone that it has hung like a black cloud over me all these weeks, and especially in the last week.  I could have backed out but something inside me didn't want to.  I really wanted to do it to promote the organisation I've been a member of since 1994 and have been part of for slightly longer than that.  So I took up the challenge.

Thank God I do 'a bit of writing'! But this was something different. Still, I did a draft and showed it to another member who is our Area Vice President.  She helped me with a couple of points I wasn't so sure about from the research point of view and then I showed it to our vicar.  He was happy too but wanted to know more about one aspect of our work that I'd just touched on.  So I researched it more and tweaked my words.

I was still fiddling with it this morning before I left!  My fellow members and others in the congregation wished me luck.  One lady said she had prayed for me.  I was so touched and I could feel the love surrounding me. I was so grateful and it buoyed me up.  How could I fail?

I know at times I did read a little quicker than I meant to (nerves always makes me do this) but I began to slow it down.  Once I'd started it actually wasn't too bad.  I just kept reading and not thinking!  My....sorry, can't call it a sermon....presentation lasted about 7/10 minutes and at times I was worried that I might lose my listeners but afterwards people came up to me and said how great it was.  My vicar actually said that 'it normally takes years for a novice to reach that level.'  Blimey!  It is now going to be published in our Parish Magazine!

Finding a way into this piece was the difficult part but once I personalised it with my own background the rest fell into place.  I would never have done this ten years go.  All those assignments I did for Open University, my poetry writing, articles and blogging, etc. all those I'm sure helped me to put this together.  The encouragement from my friends and my own faith got me through this.   Everything we write counts, whether we are paid for it or not.  It all goes to make us better writers.  Standing up and reading it was so scary and the relief that it's over is so great! But  now, I think, why did I worry all those weeks? It wasn't as bad as I imagined after all. Well, that's just me and if I really thought I couldn't do it I wouldn't have agreed, so inside me there must have always been that faith in myself and that surprised me!!

Because our branch was just about running the show this morning I had also found two readers (for the Lessons), someone to carry our banner and this morning moved our noticeboard into the hall and made sure the lady was okay sorting out the bake sale and found four people to take up the communion wine etc! My poor brain! By the time the posies for Mothering Sunday (made on Friday) were blessed I was so relaxed.  It was the end of the service and I was going home soon to a pasta bake made by my son.